Living Simply Is the True Test of Confidence
Is there someone in your life who seems to handle things in stride, even when everyone else is jumping out of their skin? That person is not me. But I have tremendous respect for those folks, and have dreams of one day being that calm and collected.
Day to day drama can erupt around you on a daily basis, with emergency meetings at all the wrong times and last minute changes of plan. Your pulse may race and you might became a basket case of stress. But those things don’t neccessarily make your life complicated and overwhelming. In large part, your attitude and approach toward those events does. While this may sound like a gross oversimplification (and, well, is that always a bad thing?), it’s really the bottom line for non life-threatening events.
Your Approach Dictates Your (Over) Reaction
If you can approach each day, each hour, each minute with quiet confidence in yourself and your abilities, there are very few genuinely stressful situations. There are absolutely exceptions to this. Life-threatening situations and mental illness, for example, rewrite the rules. But for the most part, we can choose to live simple, less stressful lives by building confidence in ourselves.
So your boss needs a last-minute rewrite on the press release that’s super-important. You can freak out and spend five minutes being annoyed and hyperventilating. Or you can ask yourself, “Can I do this?” If your answer is “yes,” then there’s no need to overreact. You can do this. So get it done. Your confidence in your abilities lets you handle the task with minimal drama and best results.
Paring Down Means Ditching the Excuses
For me, the confidence that’s at the core of living simply goes a bit deeper. When we choose to live simply, we are forced to let go of certain excuses and crutches. “Man, life is just so crazy right now. Sorry I spaced your request/blew you off/completely screwed the pooch.” That excuse just doesn’t fly when you’ve made a point of whittling your life down to essentials. Those of us who live a simple life give up some of the easy answers along with the stuff. We have to rely on our confidence and our choices. There are no excuses to hide behind, no flashy stuff to cover up our deficiencies with, and no smoke and mirrors to mask our mistakes.
I don’t have a clean way to wrap this post up. So I’m just going to leave you with a few questions:
Does living simply require confidence? Is it just a different set of excuses? How has simple living affected your ability to go out into the world and feel confident in yourself?
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This post has 11 comments
September 10th, 2009
I love what you mentioned about just being another set of excuses. I’m really tired of talk, talk, talk… just do something about it right? I need to remind myself of that.
Shannon´s last blog ..Food Roots, September 10th: where does your food come from?
September 10th, 2009
I definitely believe that living simply requires confidence… I need to work on simplifying my life big time!
Positively Present´s last blog ..the best ways to organize your living space (and your life)
September 10th, 2009
Sara,
Choosing a life of simplicity is generally a bold move, so yes there is a certain level of confidence involved. One has to be prepared to deal with the onlookers that just don’t “want” to understand or respect your choices and resist the urge to defend. Most importantly you have to continue on your path.
The excuses – interesting. In true simplicity, I just try to say NO or YES. If I get arguments that come up against my principles, I try to explain (often futile) and then simply say the truth to the adamant ones “I’m not interested” or “I have my own green/simple way, thanks for asking”.
As for your third question…I think my first point answers it too. I’m pretty passionate about green simple living so I’m confident in choices that follow my path. As for putting me in a traditional environment, let’s just say, I still like to be me!
simply stephen´s last blog ..A World of Instant Gratification
September 10th, 2009
There is DEFINITELY a sense of confidence involved. As a person who has been trying to simplify for about 8 months now, I feel MUCH more confident in my life. I no longer use “retail therapy” to make me feel better when I’m upset about something. And sometimes I just have to explain to friends that I don’t want to go shopping because I’m trying to become more minimalist. You have to be somewhat confident to go against the “norm” and live your life by your standards and not the standards of those around you.
Christine´s last blog ..My Top 10 Favorite Punk/Emo Bands
September 10th, 2009
I agree that it does take a certain amount of confidence to live more simply, at least at first.
After awhile you remember that most people are more concerned with what you think about them than they are with how you’re living your life.
There’s a wonderful freedom in that realization!
Barb McMahon´s last blog ..How to Avoid Disappointment
September 10th, 2009
I think this is my first time commenting (although I read every post you write), so just wanted to say how much I love what you write – it’s very meaningful to me. I left my high-stress job to stay home with my son and oddly enough, I handled things at work so much more smoothly than I do at home. I’m sure confidence plays a huge role in this. I need to work on getting back my feeling of being competent and capable to handle anything (non-life-threatening as you say)that comes up during the day. Thank you for helping me remember that I used to be that person! Life isn’t as simple now as then for some reason, though we’ve had to cut back on expenses and such (things that would seem to make life simpler, yet bring complications of their own). Anyway, great post and you’ve given me a lot to think about. Thank you!
Nicole´s last blog ..Books of the Week {#2}
September 10th, 2009
Stephen: “I just try to say NO or YES.” Exactly! It takes guts, but it’s a good habit. It’s one that I’m still trying to get used to, to be honest. Any time it feels awkward to just say “no” without offering some excuse, I try to remember that I’m not the center of the universe. (Shocking, right?) Saying no to someone is rarely as devastating as we imagine. Love the simple way you put things!
September 10th, 2009
Hi Sara
For me living simple is now a matter of being in integrity. Not as a moral high ground but as a pracical way to keep my affairs in order so my life is not turning into a great big mess of incomplete projects, promises and things.
Integrity is a do-ing that requires some training but is real and has taught me how to keep myself out of trouble and to be confident in the face of no-agreement of people around me. I confidently know what I am doing and why!
Staying out of trouble and chaos is a good enough reason for me.
Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Forget unfair and luck, integrity is what counts.
September 11th, 2009
I think, living itself (simple or non) requires confidence, self esteem. Without it, other people will keep changing your life and its direction. Sometimes it is struggle, other time we are so clear in what we want.
Problem arises when we like to be politically correct, because there is no nice way of saying, no, I can not come to your place, as I do not like you, your dog, or your so and so.
Zengirl´s last blog ..Healing the hurting heart
September 14th, 2009
Great post, and great comments! With regard to Stephen’s comment, and Sara’s follow-up, I am in complete agreement.
“Yes” or “No” are two very simple and clear words. It is fascinating though that such simplicity seems to almost offend those who cannot fathom their value.
Excuses have become more than just convenient tangents, but expected (and it had better be really good too). Being challenged to expand upon my choice of “yes” or “no” is presumptuous.
Again, wonderful post!
Jaysen
September 15th, 2009
I think that there is SO MUCH truth to this. We can gain confidence from simplicity AND simplicity from confidence.
Sagan´s last blog ..Day 15 of the Vegan Challenge
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