I just broke a major personal taboo: I skipped and skimmed my way through a novel. Gasp!  (Those of you with truly exotic piercings and kitchen appliance fetishes are rolling your eyes about now…)  I’ve always been a reader, and I’ve felt it part of the Reader’s Code that if you start a book, you finish it.  Period.

Skimming a book and then claiming to have “read” it strongly felt like cheating—clearly a transgression.  How could I accurately describe exactly how awful a book was if I didn’t slog through the whole damn thing?  (Hey, no one ever said that bibliophiles were a logical bunch… )

Tonight, surrounded by fantastic literary options (hooray for online reserves at the library!), I finally decided to screw my personal taboo and just cheat.  I skipped about 150 pages of Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger and skimmed the last 100.  I do not appear to have missed much.  I am also proud to report that the universe has not, in fact, collapsed in on itself and the publishing world and my eighth-grade teacher seem not to have noticed.

So what’s the point?  I’ve got two good ones:

1.  There are way to many good things in the world to waste your time on the not-so-good. From the things you fill your home with to the things you fill your mind with, there’s almost limitless quality to be found.  You’re free to choose the best and leave the rest to rot.

2.  Most restrictions and limitations we put on ourselves are self-imposed. Our reasons for not doing what we really want often don’t stand up under scrutiny.  It makes sense to keep the ones that benefit us while actively questioning the taboos that just seem to hold us back.

Is there something to be said for persevering through uncomfortable and awful situations?  Heck yeah, there is.   But those situations had better be well worth while.  There’s little point in adding self-imposed commitments to your life just so you can feel like a gold-star student.  Some of your taboos may just be more baggage to dump on the path to simplicity.

What are your personal taboos and quirks?  Do any of them hold you back?  Which ones benefit you? Please feel free to share your ideas in the comments.

Ever worked your tail off only to have someone call you “lucky”? It’s a pretty sucky feeling. It’s much more fun to take complete credit for everything you do, and paint yourself as an odds-beater. But where does luck really come into the picture, and what role does it have in our success?

In my estimation, luck is an opportunity, nothing more. You can use it or abuse it. Luck has little power over you that you don’t supply yourself.

What do I mean by “luck is an opportunity”? Like an opportunity, luck can change your life. Whether that change is good or bad, is up to you.

Luck is one factor among many.  I doubt even the luckiest person in the world can fall into lifelong happiness if they’re hellbent on being a shmuck. Your attitude, your talent, your willingness to share your good fortune, and your goals all have more of an effect on your day-to-day life than sheer luck. So while it can sting when you’re working hard and someone else “gets lucky,” there’s always more to the story.

The importance of luck often depends on how much effort you put in.  You’ve heard the stories of million-dollar lotto winners who wind up destitute. There are also an equal amount of stories where someone gets a lucky break after doing a ton of groundwork.  If you want to be a writer and you meet an agent at a cocktail party, you’re lucky. If you’ve got an outline of the book you’re working on and demographics on the intended audience, that luck might even get you somewhere.

You can’t force luck, but you can give it “come hither” eyes.  You can’t always be in the right place at the right time, but you get yourself within proximity.

Go to places where the people you want to meet hang out.

Sign up for conferences to make connections.

Help people now (out of genuine kindness, please) and they might be able to return the favor later.

Dress like you’re about to meet your new boss.

Have a written plan for your dreams, not just a vague idea.

Stay in touch with friends and acquaintances.  (It’s so easy now there’s really no excuse…)

Do what you have to in order to stay healthy. (In other words, eat and sleep.  Simple, right?)

Be interesting and have fun.  (I know it sounds trite, but dude, how much easier is it to approach someone when you’ve got something in common or worthwhile to share?)

Introduce other people to each other.

Luck itself isn’t good or bad; only what you make of it can determine that.

So, what do you do to “get lucky”? Share your ideas and thoughts in the comments.

For someone who hates clutter, I have a surprising affinity for collections.  There’s something fun about finding something you love and hunting it down mercilessly, followed by basking in the glow of your favorite items.  As usual, I think there’s nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with things you honestly value and enjoy.  One way to balance the dual passions of clutter-free living and curating a collection is to focus on things that have a true purpose.

From Dolls to Dishes

When I was in my early teens, I first starting to enjoy collecting.  It was a way of defining who I was, who I wasn’t, and building something that would last.  Like any other teen, I collected music.  Unlike any other teen, I also collected Elvis memorabilia, Cinderella paraphernalia, and vintage Barbie reproductions.  (If I sound like I was probably an annoying teen, it’s because I was probably a really annoying teen.)  There was no harm in it, my room looked awesome, and people always knew what they could get me for a gift.  But five years later, all of that Stuff was just sitting around, gathering dust.  I grew up out of the style and simply didn’t want Barbies cluttering up my dorm room.  They’re still sitting around, now taking up space in my parents’ garage. It’s not that I don’t like them.  I just don’t have any use for all of it.

Then, I made a smart decision.  I decided that when I was ready to buy real, grown-up dishes, I would get Fiestaware.  It’s affordable, it’s durable, and you can constantly switch out colors.  It fit my needs perfectly.  Once word spread that was “into” Fiesta (it’s like a cult, I swear), I starting receiving it all the time.  So instead of getting Elvis trading cards as a gift or cheap plastic Cinderella toys, I ended up with a fully stocked cabinet of everyday dishes.  The best part?  Just about every color in my cabinet comes with a happy memory or story. That’s another one of the fun parts of collecting; it truly is interactive, and your stuff comes with stories.

Five years later (actually quite a few more), I still use all of those gifts on a daily basis.  I’ve broken one Shamrock mug (hey, it had to happen sooner or later) and scratched the hell out of a Cobalt plate.  A collection that you use loses just a bit of its magic, but trust me, it’s worth it.  A living collection doesn’t take away from your life in the form of hours spent dusting, cleaning, displaying, and fretting.  It’s all of the fun, with none of the work or clutter.

Not my dishes; mine are in the dishwasher...

So if you can’t resist the idea of collecting, consider creating a working collection, like:

Dishware

Glassware

Plants and flowers

Cigar boxes/fruit crates/etc (great storage!)

Quilts and blankets

Vintage clothing (that you actually wear, of course)

Recipes (looking for old handwritten recipes is so satisfying)

Music

Jewelry (quite possibly the best souvenir ever!)

Silverware (such a rush to find silver at thrift stores)

Antique furniture

Stationery

What else can you think of?

Before You Go Crazy Collecting…

Here’s one last kicker: you’ve got to actually use the items.  Justifying shelves of glass vases only flies if you use your collection.  Things to be looked at and not touched aren’t useful.  You may love them, keep them, and cherish them for life, but they’re never going to be much more than beautiful Stuff.  That’s not bad, but you may want to put serious thought into your decision before beginning a collection like that.

And remember that what you like is totally personal. If collecting coins, stamps, or Hello Kitty tiaras floats your boat, then enjoy your hobby by all means.  If the thought of having a collection that provides you with pleasure and use for years to come is more appealing, then consider more useful items that are likely to have long-term value.

Now I’d love to hear it.  Other people are way smarter than me: what collections have offered true value in your life?  Does collecting serve a purpose, or is it all just overvalued Stuff? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!

Photos courtesy of luisvilla and danagraves

I had a feeling that something weird was happening.  I couldn’t figure out why.  Nothing specific was out of the ordinary, or even the slightest bit untoward.  But something in that instant message gave me the creeps, even if I trusted the source.  I logged off as quickly as I could and tried to the shake the feeling that my friend was up to something sneaky and trying to drag me into a bad situation.

For the next few weeks, I couldn’t stop thinking of that weird interaction.  “How self-centered can I be?  Do I honestly think that my friend has nothing better to do than try to screw me over in very obscure ways?”  Well, as it turned out, she didn’t.  Thankfully, my sixth sense practically shoved me out of harm’s way.  Score one for the those hairs on the back of my neck.

Gut Instinct or Load of Crap?

I actually prefer the term “intuition.” It just sounds a little more legit (and has fewer creepy Bruce Willis associations). The incident described above happened a few years ago, and I was reminded of it recently after chatting with a local sheriff.  In describing when it would be appropriate for an employee to call the local police, he specifically mentioned the sixth sense.  “When you feel the hairs on your arms rise, trust that feeling,” was his advice.

Where Do Those Feelings Come From?

As it turns out, what we perceive as intuition often has very real roots.  You notice something out of place, a behavior that’s unusual, or a change in a person’s mannerisms.  You’re not consciously aware of all these details (Can you imagine having to actually process all those thoughts?), but you’re still absorbing them anyway.  When something falls out of place, you notice—you get a feeling of intuition.

What to Do with Gut Feelings

For many of us, it’s not a question of whether we have moments of intuition, it’s when to actually use that information.  There’s no real answer for this, but it’s rarely a bad idea to heighten your awareness of your surroundings and the people around you.  I’m not recommending living your life on edge,  just offering a bit of encouragement.  What might seem crazy is sometimes the voice of reason.

When you’re faced with a ridiculous amount of input and stimuli, sometimes you’ve got to go back to the basics when sorting through it all. Sometimes that can mean listening to your gut, even if you’re convinced your guts have crap for brains.

Have you had moments of intuition that turned out to be right? How about completely wrong?  And is intuition real and trustworthy, or just the basis of irrational fear? I’d love it if you’d share your thoughts in the comments on this one!

Reader (and fellow blogger) Christine Simiriglia of Organize More, Stress Less left a comment on last week’s green products post that really caught my attention:

…Eat fresh, whole foods with fewer ingredients. Meal preparation has gone from being an enjoyable activity to a necessary evil in our super busy work days. We now eat frozen, processed or prepared foods for most of our weekday meals. Along with the food we get all of the preservatives, added colors, artificial flavors, excessive sodium, and higher costs that go with the convenience of a six minute dinner from the microwave.

Instead, try buying fresh fruits and vegetables and have them washed and available to grab whenever hunger strikes. Prepare whole grains and beans like brown rice, barley or split peas in larger batches on the weekend, then refrigerate, and heat as needed during the week. You’ll eat healthier while shrinking your grocery bill and your waistline.

Christine’s idea that meal prep, in it’s natural state is an enjoyable activity jumped out at me.  Huh.  Why hasn’t that occurred to me before? [Head smack.]

Getting Friendly with Your Kitchen

So I set out with my next meal to return some of the spice to the cooking process.  To enjoy the experience of preparing a meal, I tried to turn the evening from a series of tasks into… well… a full-on experience.  That meant paying attention to the details: the smells, the sounds, the feels, and especially the sounds. (I love a good sizzle…)

I treated the meal prep like the event itself, not the lead-up to the event of dinner.  I’m beginning to think that may be one of the biggest hurdles to jump.   If we assume that the meal is the event, then it certainly doesn’t make sense to spend an hour preparing for 15 minutes of eating.  But if we consider the entire time spent eating and preparing food as the important part, it gets easier to unwind, relax, and enjoy the process.

What it felt like at the end was that I’d spent the evening, quite happily, trying to seduce my kitchen.  Before your mind heads straight for the gutter, consider some of my favorite parts of the kitchen experiment:

Fix the Lighting

If the adage that no one looks good in flourescent light is true, then it probably holds true for food as well.  I kept the flourescents off and cooked by (safely bright) lamplight and the glow of the stove light.  It was amazing how just changing the lighting altered my mood.  The “ugh, work” vibe faded into the background to be replaced with excitement and anticipation.  Yay!

Set the Tracks

While watching syndicated repeats of Two and a Half Men may help your mind go numb after a long day, it’s not an ingredient of a memorable evening.  I pulled out my “Cooking Jams” CD from way back and had a blast shaking my booty in the kitchen.  (Think old school R&B and guilty-pleasure pop.  Sweet.)  Again, the mood changed.  I wasn’t trying to multi-task and watch TV, which meant that cooking wasn’t in the way, it was the way.  Just be careful with the chopping, folks!

Ply the Participants with Alcohol

A glass of wine in my hand provides instant atmosphere.  Whatever your poison is, whether it’s OJ or a Sam Adams, enjoy it while you cook, not after you cook.  Plus, it’s a sneaky way to woo others into the kitchen to be your sous chef.

Plan Ahead… But Improvise as Needed

Cooking sucks when you don’t have the ingredients, recipes, or dishes that you need.  So plan ahead to make sure you’ve got the components you need so that you can just relax.   On the other hand, though, be ready for surprises.  Cooking for me never goes according to plan.  I’m slowly learning not to freak out when I burn the potatoes or screw the pooch in any of a variety of ways.  There’s no point in stressing.  The worst case scenario is cheese omelets or pizza delivery.  Not a crisis.

Put Your Best Face Forward

Just like in a good seduction, looks matter.  And I’m not talking about me. (Flannel pants and my college sweatshirt are my comfy cooking gear.)  I had a hell of a time making the plate itself look good when the meal was ready. It added to the feeling that I was trying to rush through meal prep since it was so awful.  It was something worth taking the time to enjoy.

In the end, I really didn’t have to change much except for my attitude.  I stopped the looped track in my head that shouted, “Get this over with! You have better things to do! Like watching Dancing with the Stars!” Meal prep wasn’t a chore to rush through before it wasted more of my precious time.  It was a chance to have some quiet time to myself, some conversation with my husband, and enjoy my home.  And while I won’t put on such an elaborate show every night (at least not for awhile), I am psyched to change a lot of my cooking habits.

And One More Thing

On reflecting on the evening, there was one more thing I loved.  The enjoyable evening had absolutely nothing to do with how expensive my kitchen was (or wasn’t, in my case).  Granite countertops wouldn’t have made the process any more fun, pricey appliances wouldn’t have made a difference, and none of that stuff really even came into the equation.  Cooking is equal opportunity fun.

Okay, so I took Christine’s great advice on a bit of a tangent.  But that’s what great advice is about: finding what works for you and making it work hard. So thanks, Christine.  And I’ll think about replacing the linguica breakfast burritos with something non-artery clogging next time…

And because you made it to the end of this post, a slice of fresh pumpkin pie, from my kitchen to yours:

Today I’m excited to present a guest post from author Paul Maurice Martin.  Paul’s experiences with Trappist monks as well as years in education help him lend a unique perspective to the topic of meditation.  Enjoy! —S.
Meditation is often discussed online today. But sometimes I think it’s discussed to the point of making it sound [...]

Not everyone will share my opinion, but I’m fully convinced that green products and solutions will never truly be viable unless they’re actually better and, more importantly, easier than more wasteful options.  Take it from the girl living in an area where glass is not allowed in the curbside recycling bin (seriously!): If it’s not [...]

I must live in a time warp. Somewhere between getting out of bed and getting to the sink, I gain four minutes. From the time I head down to the stairs till the time I my feet hit the kitchen tile, I’ve lost them again, and then some. By the time I get into the [...]