On Simplicity

“If only…” may be the two cruelest words in the English language. Many of us (especially myself) will throw out “if only” as the reason why we don’t get to do everything we’d like. But the truth is that, if you’re reading this, you’ve probably got a wide array of options and opportunities available to you on some level. At some point is becomes important to realize that it’s not the five extra minutes we’re missing that is holding us back.

We have a lifetime available to us. How can we not accomplish our dreams?

In other words, what could you do if you truly freed yourself from doubts, from limitations, and from negativity. What could you do?

Accept that you have options. To start living the life you really want, the first step is to accept that you have power. Your power may be limited, but you have choices. They’re not the same choices Warren Buffett or Oprah has, but they’re there. To deny them is to throw sand into the sky and expect a rainbow. Own up to the responsibility that goes along with them and make the best of it.

Figure out what you want. Unless you’re extremely lucky—and some folks are—you won’t get to your dream life if you don’t even know what it is. Or worse yet, you may be living your ideal life and not even realize it. Figure out what you want. You may be wrong, you may change your mind later, but you’ll never get there if you don’t know where “there” is.

Scare the hell out of yourself. You don’t have to quit your job and sing for pennies. You don’t have to leave your family to sail across a faraway ocean. But you do need to push your boundaries. You’ll find your limits, trust me. But before you do, you’ll have found new depths of inner strength and greater skills and capabilities than you knew you had. You don’t have to lay everything on the line to scare the hell out of yourself, you just have to be willing to put your ego on the line.

Shake failure’s hand. Get over your past failures; they’re done. They don’t define your limitations anymore. You may be smarter, or stronger, or simply more charming than you were then. The bottom line is that your old failures simply aren’t applicable anymore. Stop hanging on them. Go find new failures that are applicable, and learn from them.

Learn to distinguish between thought and action. Both thought and action are vital, but you can’t focus on one and ignore the other. Each action deserves analysis, and every analysis deserves a follow-up action. Break that chain and that’s when the problems start. Thought and action: separate them in your head, and plug away at both equally.

So let’s hear it–what would you accomplish if you were freed from all restraints? What are some of the ways you break through the barriers in your life? Leap into the comments and share your story!

photo credit: bandita

When I asked about your definition of simplicity, many readers included the importance of having less, but enjoying more. When it comes to actually giving stuff up, though, it can be easier said than done. In that spirit, here are five ways you can make it easy to enjoy a life with less stuff.

Use what you do have. Go through your music collection and make a playlist of forgotten favorites. (I love doing this!) Pull a favorite book off the shelf and give it another read. Pull a passed-down antique out of the closet and give it a place of honor. Using and enjoying what you do have gives you a feeling of abundance that’s incredibly uplifting.

Keep a list of free and fun things to do. You could take a photographic walk, teach the dog a new trick, snuggle with a loved one, incite a family wrestling match, write bad rhyming poetry, take a nap, or dance to the radio. The more items you can dream up, the more fun you have at your fingertips.

Start seeing empty spaces as packed with freedom. Celebrate every empty shelf, bare wall, and exposed square foot of flooring as the ultimate victory. If freedom equals happiness (or at least a big component of it), then not having something just brings you closer to your personal nirvana.

Engage all five senses. Don’t just put on your shirt in the morning. Take a second to feel the weave, to take in the color, to smell the freshness (it is clean, isn’t it?). Okay, you don’t have to taste it, but you’re starting to get the idea. Same with your food. Don’t just eat it; savor the smells and sights of a delicious meal. By packing the mundane with meaning, we create a luxurious lifestyle out of nothing at all.

Make a list of the things you get in return when give things up. My list includes freedom, peacefulness, and room to think. Keep the list at the bottom of sock drawer and reference as needed. It’s a powerful reminder of exactly why I’m not filling my drawers with endless new things.

photo credit: apes_abroad

Yesterday, I wrote about how pets can help us learn to be selfless. Today, I’m going to hit on ways two and three that dogs–or any pets–can improve our lives (even while mercilessly complicating things).

#2: Dogs require you to be social.

Want to curl up with a book all night and get lost in your own thoughts? Too bad; Fido wants to play, and he won’t take no for an answer. Dogs understand that touch and play are essentials, and they force you to get in on the game.

And you know what? Even though I’m initially annoyed when Roo tells me it’s time to take a play break, I always feel refreshed and rejuvenated afterward. Forced social interaction–even when it’s wordless in nature–can be just what you need to keep your sanity and gain a new perspective on your schedule.

#3: A warm, fuzzy creature can contribute to a frugal life.

Many people write or talk about the costs of pet ownership, and they’re completely right. Foods, toys, vet visits and time are all drains on your money and energy. However, it’s vital to understand that pets can also lower some of your bills. Cold evening? Curl up next to Lassie instead of cranking the thermostat up. Bored? Play hide and seek with Rex instead of hitting the mall.

No money for a gym membership? Take Bingo for a walk each day and get in shape. Feeling stressed? Play with your pup before you call the shrink or shell out for a new homeopathic remedy. The true monetary costs of dogs tend to balance out in the long run, especially when the health benefits are taken into consideration.

What are your experiences with these? I loved yesterday’s stories of world-watching rats and spaghetti-stealing pooches, so keep ‘em coming!

It’s time for me to put my money where my mouth is, so to speak.  I talk a great game about simplicity, but in truth, it’s easy to be simple at this point in my life. This week, the real test starts.

My husband is going in for surgery (nothing life-threatening, just corrective), and I’ll be picking up a lot of extra work as a result. My amazing spouse handles most of the household chores, like cooking, shopping, and all maintenance. I do the laundry, cleaning, and drink mixing.

So for the next few months, as B recuperates and is largely immobile, I’ll be:

• Taking care of B
• Taking care of all household chores
• Taking care of the yards
• Cooking (not my strong suit, so we’ll see how this goes)
• Driving
• Shopping
• Taking care of our beloved (and highly energetic) dog Roo
• Working my regular job
• Working on On Simplicity
• Taking on extra freelance writing work (to help defray the cost of surgery and make up a portion of B’s lost wages from being away from work)

I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of folks look at this list and say, “So what? I’ve been doing this for 20 years. Whaddya want, a cookie?”

That’s fair.

But it’s a big change for me, and I’m taking it as a challenge. It’s a call to make life as simple as possible, for my own sanity.  I look forward to learning new ways to streamline and be happy with less. 

If you’ve got any advice for me, I would very much welcome it in the comments. Have a great week, everybody, and thanks for reading!

photo credit: Satoru Kikuchi

Yesterday’s conversation about simplicity myths sparked reader Marelisa to write,

“For some people simplicity is practically synonymous with minimalism, while for others it’s about priorities and purchasing items because they genuinely please you instead of trying to impress someone else. I think we should each come up with our own definition of simplicity and apply it to our lives…”

I absolutely agree. There’s no standard for simplicity; it’s a concept that’s entirely up to you. It’s also a concept that deserves some serious thought.

So what’s your definition of simplicity?

Here’s mine (at the moment):

Simplicity is stripping everything away from our lives: assumptions, preconceptions, fears and dreams, and then keeping only the things that we truly value. It’s about being happy with enough, and finding contentment from within.

(If you’re interested in reading a bit more about my perspective, check out one of my earlier posts, Am I Just Faking It?)

In the meantime, what’s your definition? It doesn’t have to be perfect or complete. I’d just love to hear about what components of simplicity are valuable in your life. Please glide on into the comments and share your thoughts!

And if you’re interested in hearing some awesome insights on time, values, and living the best life for you, head over to Marelisa’s home at Abundance Blog!

Don’t believe the hype about simplicity. If the idea of voluntary simplicity makes you imagine monks or the Unabomber, it’s time for a reality check: read on!

You have to live an ascetic life to enjoy simplicity.

Not every person who practices voluntary simplicity lives in a spartan log cabin or a minimalist Zen haven. Similarly, it’s not about giving up possessions or meditating or being green. Enjoying simplicity is about being happy with less—less stress, less drama, less waste, and less hassle. Whether that simple lifestyle involves eternity pools and caviar or sparse flats and ramen is really a moot point.

Living simply means letting life’s pleasures pass you by.

One of the most common reactions to frugal or simple folks is, “Life is meant to be enjoyed! You never know what tomorrow might bring!” A life of simplicity, I can firmly attest, contains countless pleasures; they’re just different pleasures. The feeling of freedom, a quiet evening spent with your thoughts and a great wine, the pleasure of enjoying a home-cooked meal with a person you love, the possession of enough free time to indulge one’s whims: I think most voluntary simplifiers would count these among life’s greatest pleasures.

Living simply will make you rich.

Sorry. I’d love it if this was true, but there’s no guarantee that simplicity and Millionaire Next Door (link) type wealth go hand in hand. You may own nothing but travel everywhere, you may own the very best of a few things, or you may have very little and work even less. Simplicity isn’t a path to wealth, it’s just a lifestyle. However, if you’re spending far less than you earn and keeping committed expenses down, your future probably looks pretty bright financially.

People who practice voluntary simplicity are better than people with a lot of Stuff.

Your worth as a person has nothing to do with the amount of Stuff you have. This is true whether you have a lot of stuff or just a little. You have to do what’s right for you. Someone who makes responsible purchases, even if their home is full of unused doodads and Marie Osmond dolls, is no better or worse than the person who eschews such items.

Living simply is an act of willpower.

While everyone is different, I would argue that most people living a simple life don’t have to try very hard to do it. In reality, it would be very difficult for them to do anything other than live a simple life. More than anything, simplicity is often a preference that simply becomes a habit. Do you dream of peaceful days instead of harried hours? There’s your preference. The next step is to take action to make simplicity a habit by saying no sometimes, choosing experiences over Stuff, and really tuning in to the world around you.

Are there any other myths about simplicity you can think of? Are any of the stereotypes or common perceptions true? Add your thoughts in the conversation below—let us all know what you think.
photo credit: Roman Lashkin

photo credit: *Susie*

This Sunday’s quote comes from one of my inspirations, Henry Thoreau:

“We are happy in proportion to the things we can do without.”

This principle seems to ring true. The more we can do without, the more happiness we experience. Conversely, the more we need and want, the less happy we are.

The desert island lists seemed to demonstrate this, as readers reflected on the things they truly needed and most chose relationships, expression, and knowledge over material items.

What’s your take? Has “doing without” become irrelevant in a postmodern world? Have prosperity and the affordability of material goods changed the idea of simplicity or reinforced it? Or is our happiness still in proportion to the thing we don’t need and desire?

That’s the idea I’ll be pondering today. Drop into the comments if you’ve got an opinion–I’d love to hear it.

photo credit: ΗǼЯӨŁĐ PHOTOGЯAPHX

1. Resign from a commitment you’re not passionate about.
2. Stop trying to be perfect.
3. Implement a basic cleaning schedule.
4. Sign up for automatic billpay.
5. Automate a portion of your investing.
6. Clean out your media collection and keep only the items you love.
7. Plant perennials that will automatically bloom next spring.
8. Clean out your purse or wallet.
9. Put a paper shredder next to your mail spot.
10. Winnow your wardrobe down to pieces that work together.
11. Delete any social networking accounts you don’t actually use.
12. Add your number to the do-not-call list.
13. Create a car maintenance schedule and post it somewhere you’ll see it.
14. Design a filing system that you can stick to.
15. Start your day with a healthy meal.
16. Turn your phone off when you need quiet time.
17. Invest in a programmable thermostat.
18. Set one good goal, and go achieve it.
19. Record your good “shower” ideas and then implement them. (Don’t we all get our best inspirations in the shower?)
20. Write to a friend with (gasp!) pen and paper.
21. Set limits on your bad habits, and reward yourself when you stick with them.
22. Stop trying to be a saint and indulge yourself every once in a while.
23. Pay off your credit card debt.
24. Avoid watching commercials and reading advertisements.
25. Rediscover the pleasure of reading purely for enjoyment.
26. Plan two weeks of delicious meals ahead of time and skip the nightly grocery run.
27. Go to your doctor for a preventative checkup.
28. Remember the joys of doing nothing.
29. Singletask as much as possible.
30. Learn to ask for help.

Want one more simple thing you can do? Subscribe to On Simplicity and have simple articles delivered to your reader daily.

photo credit: elyziumfields

Tim Gunn of Project Runway is the ultimate icon of simple sophistication. This is a man who insists that a solid wardrobe consists of just 10 pieces. In that spirit of refreshing minimalism, here are a few lessons we can take from Tim Gunn: the man, the host, the guru.

“A couture post-office uniform is not going to work.”

Or, put differently, no one on a farm cares about your Benz. In short, fashion needs to be functional. Style should help you live your life, simply in a more colorful way. It should never impede you from doing the things you love to do. Whether you need room to stretch and breathe, comfort to run and jump, or the freedom to roll around the grass or jump off a swing, your clothes should make your day more fun. In all areas of your life, style should be a value-added component and never a distraction or excuse.

“Looking good takes hard work and commitment.”

Things that look effortless are often far from it. When you see a person who appears to have it all together, keep in mind that they’ve likely worked very hard to get to that point. Whether your goal is to look fabulous or accomplish amazing things, Tim Gunn has just given you the two secrets of success: hard work and commitment. Hard work will get you 90 percent of the way, but commitment is what ensures that you stay on track during the hard times (ie, stirrup leggings and pegged pants).

“Underwear is the foundation of fashion.”

I love this quote, because it acknowledges the importance of what lies beneath the surface. Taken in a larger context, your habits are your underwear–they support you and determine the outcome of many of your actions. Consider the art of personal finance: you can master fancy techniques and have incredible vision, but if you don’t spend less than you earn (that’s your financial underwear) your portfolio, or wardrobe, won’t amount to much.

“Having quiet time alone is just so repairing. That’s why my environment is so important to me.”

Quiet time is when you become truly you. When all external stimuli are gone, what thoughts are you left with? What dreams do you conceive? If you want to dream bigger and deeper, creating a conducive environment is an important step. I wouldn’t say it’s absolutely vital, but I think Gunn is onto something here in that our environments do affect our lives. It makes sense to design them to reflect the places you want to go and the person you want to be (or already are).

“There are thousands of designers who would love to be in your place. What’s the matter with you?”

This is Tim’s response to those who complain about the Project Runway work load. I think it’s a wonderful mini meditation on gratitude. No matter who you are, there’s a pretty big likelihood that there’s someone who would love to be in your place. Perhaps you’re doing well for yourself financially. Maybe you’ve got one person in your life who loves you completely and totally. Perhaps you’ve got an education and an analytical mind. If you don’t appreciate the gifts you do have, there are plenty of others who would ask you, “What’s the matter with you?”

Finally, “Make it work.”

Make it work is a mantra you can truly live by. When Tim Gunn tells people to make it work, he’s encouraging them to work with what they’ve got. It’s a call to accept who you are and where you are, and make it as fabulous as possible. Forget what you don’t have. What can you do right now to make things better? In the end, it’s often a recommendation to take something away–in other words, to simplify down to basics. Now that’s a catchphrase I can get behind!

Do you have a favorite Gunn-ism? I’d love to hear, so please head into the comments and let your opinion be heard!

“It’s been… what? Two years since I saw you? Three? What’s new with you, mister?”

“Well, I’ve got a house being built in Idaho, so I’ll be heading out there in a couple months. You know, stay with my parents in the meantime.”

“Yeah? That’s exciting for you. Well, the house I mean, not the living with your parents thing.”

“You should visit sometime. I think you might actually like living there.”

“Okay. Sure thing. I’ll just pack up and move to Idaho because you said so.”

Well, about one year later to the date, I packed up and moved to Idaho because he said so. I hate it when my husband is right.

It’s been two years today since B and I loaded up the moving van in the blistering heat, waved goodbye to longtime friends, and ventured to the Gem State. With just one short weekend visit under my belt, I was nervous and excited. As the lights of Boise became visible through the thick, inky darkness of the mountain pass, my breath caught in my throat. This was real.

I’ve been questioned about the move and done some questioning myself, but in the end, it has resulted in some pretty wonderful things. Here’s what I’ve learned in the transition from city life to rural home.

1. People are nice. They’re not nice all the time, and some are never nice at all, but in general, people are still friendly. I was actually taken aback the first few times that people said “hello” to me for no good reason. (It also becomes too easy to take that for granted.)

2. There’s culture all around us. You don’t have to live in a big city to be around intelligent, creative people. You do, however, need to make more of an effort to seek out cultural events. People who assume that anywhere not on a coast lacks culture are, quite simply, kidding themselves.

3. Being in a minority can be awkward, yet satisfying. For the first time in my life, I was surrounded by people who held vastly different opinions and beliefs than my own. It was kind of scary at first, but I got over it relatively quickly. Most people will agree to disagree, provided you’re not trying to offload your beliefs on them.

4. Alienating people is rarely a good idea. That person you cut in front of in the post office? Yeah, they know 10 people who know you, including your boss. The kid at the drive through, taking your order? Yeah, he’ll be your city council person someday, in charge of zoning your neighborhood. In a small town, everyone’s a contact in some way. If you’re going to antagonize someone, you’d better have a darn good reason.

5. You can be happy anywhere you choose. Happiness comes from within, not without. While the right locale can truly make your heart sing, the wrong one does not condemn you to a miserable life. ( I’m talking about safe, reasonably well-populated areas with jobs and modern conveniences, not war zones or refugee camps.) Happiness is a choice, one we can make each day regardless of geography.

So what’s your opinion? Am I way off base? Do you long to leave the city or would you eat candle wax before becoming rural? Hop into the comments and share what you think!