On Simplicity

She may be a spoiled, somewhat delusional, sheltered Southern belle, but you’ve got to give it to Scarlett O’Hara: the gal’s a first-class optimist. This is a character who doesn’t just turn lemons in to lemonade, she turns curtains into couture. And while her aim may not always be pure, she never lets a setback (or even a war) stop her from dreaming and reaching her goals.

If you’re a dreamer of any kind, then optimism isn’t just a state of mind, it’s a weapon in your arsenal. Without a healthy amount of optimism, the first setback you come across can cause you to give up. So if you’d like to tap into some of that “tomorrow is another day” optimism, consider the following ways to embrace your inner believer:

1.  Ignore convention. The most optimistic act you can commit is one that flies in the face every bit of conventional wisdom you’ve heard. Scarlett didn’t let anyone tell her she couldn’t run a plantation, a business, or well, anything. If you listen to the crowd on every issue, you’ll never have an extraordinary moment. Have the courage to believe that you can challenge the status quo and come out ahead, and watch doors you never even saw before suddenly fly open.

2.  Change your mind. The ultimate form of optimism is knowing that there’s a world of possibilities yet to be discovered. In Scarlett O’Hara’s terms, just because you told someone you hated him and hoped you never saw him again, that doesn’t mean he’s not the love of your life. Hopefully, your changes of mind and heart are less dramatic, but above all, reserve your right to change your mind. Changing your mind is not giving up; it’s evolving. It’s recognizing that there may be more different, better options for you. Far from being a pessimistic act of waving the white flag, changing your mind can be the ultimate act of Scarlett-style optimism.

3.  Earn the respect of others. Yes, she was manipulative, but in the end Scarlett got what she wanted because she had earned the respect of the people she needed.  Whether you earn that respect through being consistent, being great at what you do, or simply because you’re unimaginably ballsy (the Scarlett method), it’s vital. Optimism can get you pretty damn far, farther than you might imagine, but you will need the help of others if you have big goals. Take the time today to start earning the respect of your peers and industry, and you’ll be able to get others to believe in your optimistic vision.

4.  Never be afraid to dance. So what if you’re in mourning for the husband you never loved and only married to make your sister’s husband jealous? If you want to dance, then by all means dance.  There’s never (well, rarely…) a bad time to embrace the joy in life and follow your passion.  When you can view life as full of possibility instead of filled with limitations, guess what? You’re an optimist. Take a cue from Scarlett and dance, laugh, and love, even when the world is quite certain you should be crying.

5.  Embrace your special talents. If you’re Scarlett, this means pinching your cheeks for color and batting your eyes to get what you want.  If you’ve got good people skills, then it means taking the time to engage as many folks as you can in conversation. Whatever your best talents are, use them as often as possible. It’s always good to stretch yourself, but there’s no reason not to use your natural talents to your advantage. What does this have to do with optimism? By identifying and tapping into your strong points, you can find more opportunities to shine and be confident in yourself as well. If you feel that you can use your talents to your advantage in any situation, you’re a bonafide optimist.

What do you feel are the best ways to be optimistic? Are there limits to how far optimism can take you? Waltz your way into the comments, and let me hear what you have to say.

Friday’s not the time to be morbid, but let’s face it: someday we’ll all be going off to the big Container Store in the sky. How do you want to be remembered? What three traits would you want people to associate you with when it was all said and done?

For me, I’m thinking:

1. Kindness
2. Optimism
3. Subversive silliness

I want to be the person in elder care who’s still laughing at whoopie cushions while giving the world everything that’s left of me. That’s really what it comes down to.

Taking the time to realize what we want to leave behind is key. Once that’s done, I think it’s easier to cut out all of the behaviors and habits that simply don’t jive with our hoped-for legacy. We start becoming the people we always hoped we might be.

So what do you want your legacy to be? Pass into the comments and share your top three with everyone.

photo credit: Beard Papa

“If only…” may be the two cruelest words in the English language. Many of us (especially myself) will throw out “if only” as the reason why we don’t get to do everything we’d like. But the truth is that, if you’re reading this, you’ve probably got a wide array of options and opportunities available to you on some level. At some point is becomes important to realize that it’s not the five extra minutes we’re missing that is holding us back.

We have a lifetime available to us. How can we not accomplish our dreams?

In other words, what could you do if you truly freed yourself from doubts, from limitations, and from negativity. What could you do?

Accept that you have options. To start living the life you really want, the first step is to accept that you have power. Your power may be limited, but you have choices. They’re not the same choices Warren Buffett or Oprah has, but they’re there. To deny them is to throw sand into the sky and expect a rainbow. Own up to the responsibility that goes along with them and make the best of it.

Figure out what you want. Unless you’re extremely lucky—and some folks are—you won’t get to your dream life if you don’t even know what it is. Or worse yet, you may be living your ideal life and not even realize it. Figure out what you want. You may be wrong, you may change your mind later, but you’ll never get there if you don’t know where “there” is.

Scare the hell out of yourself. You don’t have to quit your job and sing for pennies. You don’t have to leave your family to sail across a faraway ocean. But you do need to push your boundaries. You’ll find your limits, trust me. But before you do, you’ll have found new depths of inner strength and greater skills and capabilities than you knew you had. You don’t have to lay everything on the line to scare the hell out of yourself, you just have to be willing to put your ego on the line.

Shake failure’s hand. Get over your past failures; they’re done. They don’t define your limitations anymore. You may be smarter, or stronger, or simply more charming than you were then. The bottom line is that your old failures simply aren’t applicable anymore. Stop hanging on them. Go find new failures that are applicable, and learn from them.

Learn to distinguish between thought and action. Both thought and action are vital, but you can’t focus on one and ignore the other. Each action deserves analysis, and every analysis deserves a follow-up action. Break that chain and that’s when the problems start. Thought and action: separate them in your head, and plug away at both equally.

So let’s hear it–what would you accomplish if you were freed from all restraints? What are some of the ways you break through the barriers in your life? Leap into the comments and share your story!

photo credit: bandita

Last night I took up running, something I haven’t done regularly in years.

As the wind blew my hair and I cheerfully gasped for breath, I started planning how I would write about it. Who cares that I had a nagging throat tickle and the makings of a cold? I was on my way!

“Running Toward Simplicity”? Nah, too cheesy.

“Any Time Is a Good Time to Kickstart Healthy Habits”? Potentially.

“Reaching Your Dreams Is as Simple as Taking the First Step”? Kinda wordy.

Well, the real approach hit me in the middle of the night, as I was awakened by the fiercest sore throat I’ve ever had. As the white fire of Hell scorched my tonsils and my legs shook uncontrollably with every swallow, it hit me:

“Bad Timing Kills Good Habits”

Don’t Do What I Did

I still believe that there’s rarely a time when you should delay starting a good habit. However, I now concede that you should let common sense prevail when you’re in doubt. Ask yourself these questions first:

1. What’s the worst that will happen if I take this action?
2. Is anyone depending on me who could be negatively impacted by this action?
3. What’s my motivation? Am I simply avoiding something else?

It’s not foolproof, but it’s a start. In the end, what I’m really encouraging is that you set yourself up for success. 

As for me, let’s just say that the running bug has been effectively squelched for awhile.

Now, I’d like to turn it over to you. What has worked for you?  Are there any guidelines you can think of? Or, do you think a “just do it” mentality is always the right way to go?

My husband tells the story so well.

“I head into the bathroom. The stall door is unlocked, so I walk in and what do I see?  There he is, hand between his legs, handling his business, looking as shocked and mortified as a nun caught in the Playboy Mansion.”

Fortunately, the story’s about a cocky fellow who got taken down a peg because he failed to lock the door on a public restroom. Classic!

Embrace the Inevitable

After hearing how this poor guy was so embarrassed for days by the impromptu bathroom social, I made a decision.  The next time something potentially mortifying happens, I’m going to embrace it. After all, it’s hard to make fun of someone who isn’t embarrassed.

Events are only humiliating if we deem them so.  If you skulk around with your eyes downcast, you’re giving off clear signals that you are ashamed. What’s worse is that you aren’t just conveying that message to everyone around you; you’re telling it to yourself.  It’s a perfect recipe for long-lasting humiliation and unnecessary personal suffering.

Remember that time you face-planted in the middle school cafeteria? Well, no one else does, so stop being embarrassed and let it go.

Seat’s Taken: Plan for the Moment

The next time something mortifying occurs, I’m rolling with it. Someone walks in on me in the bathroom? They’re getting a smile and a wave.  Trip and fall in a public place? So what? Laugh about it, and if necessary, take a bow.

So think about it. How will you react the next time something embarrassing happens?  Will you clam up and radiate shamefulness? Or will you take life’s quirks for what they are and keep smiling?

Either way, one lesson is clear: lock the bathroom stall next time, will you?

photo credit: tifotter

Have you ever struggled to kickstart a new habit? It’s easy to find excuses and create delays. It’s even easier to give up entirely. Have you ever considered why it’s so difficult?

Why Are New Habits So Hard to Establish?

To be truthful, we have enough battles to fight every day. You may be trying to eat healthier, spend less money, develop better sleeping habits, or exercise regularly. Add the daily efforts to do your best on the job, be kind to your family and friends, and handle all the random tasks and chores. That’s a lot of stuff to handle!

No wonder it’s such a struggle to create a new habit!

New habits shouldn’t always be such a such a battle. If the habit you want to develop isn’t especially life-altering, consider finding the path of least resistance before you begin. (For instance, I’m thinking of a note-taking system or cleaning routine, not a dramatic diet plan here.)

Finding the Path of Least Resistance

1. Focus on minimizing the scariest or most difficult part of the new habit. For example, if bad weather, bad neighborhoods, or bad timing are killing your plans to take up running, consider a treadmill. Running is enough of a challenge, so remove the roadblocks for a better chance of success.
2. Attach the new habit to an established one. Piggybacking habits can really work. Adding a multivitamin to your daily routine? Attach it to your morning cup of coffee. This can work for most habits. It serves as a reminder and makes it easier for the new habit to become automatic.
3. Build in a cushion or gray area. “Failing” at a new habit can make you want to quit. To keep yourself from feeling like a failure when you have a setback, create some cushion. This might mean a set number of days off per week or a shortened routine for days when you’re pressed for time.
4. Cut the habit down to its most basic components. You’re going for as short and sweet as possible. If your new cleaning habit takes half an hour each day, that’s a challenge. Can you get away with doing less? Can you do it every other day? Can you cut some tasks entirely? Find the shortest, fastest possible routes and by all means, take them.
5. Make sure the new habit matters. If the new habit is a serious struggle, consider whether it’s really worth it. You’ve probably got enough to focus on. Add to your plate only when it’s truly beneficial to yourself or others.

There’s no glory in the struggle if the struggle is unnecessary. When it comes to new habits, your best bet is usually making it easy on yourself and just getting the job done.

Do you have any additional tips? What about exceptions? When does this approach work best? Drop into the comments and add your opinion!

photo credit: tharendra

**A quick note: I’ve got a project with a looming deadline and a family wedding this week, so while items will still be posting, I’ll be moderating a lot less frequently for the week. I look forward to reading what everyone has to stay when things calm down. Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful week!

photo credit: Vox Efx

So there was this girl. She enjoyed writing, and was having moderate to middling success at it. Some days were long. Some were hard. Sometimes she felt simply tapped. But she kept writing with no changes for one reason, and one reason alone: she had the next step laid out for her.

So what’s the easy trick to staying motivated?

Schedule yourself in advance.

Here’s why: it’s too easy to let emotions dictate whether we continue to work on our dreams. When you have a bad day, it’s natural to want to take a break. But a break becomes a rest, a rest becomes a hiatus, and that becomes, well… the black hole of doom. Before you know it, you’re sucking your Doritos-dyed thumb, zombified out in front of Saved by the Bell reruns (or Walker, Texas Ranger—your call).

Create the Next Step When Times Are Good

But when you’ve got a schedule (a loose one, please), you’ve got the next step ready for you. You’re short-circuiting the existential crisis and just moving on. If that next step was good enough for you a week ago, it should be good enough now, even when bad fortune shines on you.

It’s the everdayness of our lives, the daily minutiae that often gets us through the really hard times—the loss of family, illnesses, joblessness. So let that same principle work for you on a micro level by creating some structured everydayness with your projects.

So you had a bad day. It happens. Check your calendar and look ahead to tomorrow. As Scarlett O’Hara, my favorite procrastinor, would say, “Tomorrow is another day.”

photo credit: salvez

Creativity: it’s elusive, mysterious, and undefineable. Or is it? While I’m of the opinion that there are few shortcuts worth taking, I think I’ve found a shortcut to unlock creativity. It’s the same kind of philosophy I can imagine being espoused by Yogi Berra, the man famous for stating the obvious.

What’s the secret?

To unlock your creativity, you need to be creative.

Yep, that’s it. So what does it mean? It means that in order to get your creative juices flowing, you need to commit creative acts. These first attempts don’t need to be wonderful, or even particularly inspired. They just need to be committed.

By choosing to write that first sentence, paint that first stroke, or cook that first dinner, you’re opening your mind to being creative. Once you take that first step, don’t be surprised if the ideas suddenly start flowing. Before you know it, you’ll be having flashes in the shower, while you’re driving, and all manner of inconvenient moments.

Tapping into Your Creative Flow

This has certainly been the case with me. Once I started blogging, the ideas simply started flooding my mind. Where before there was observation and curiosity, there’s now a stream of ideas. Some are related to On Simplicity, some are inspired by what I’m currently seeing or hearing, and others seem to come from nowhere. Simply by walking up the stairs in a local historical site, a short story formed itself in my head.

Is this flow of ideas always available? Does beginning creative pursuits unlock the pre-existing creative riches of your mind? Or does the flow begin only when you commit to taking creative action? I couldn’t tell you. What I can tell that is that waiting for a masterpiece to spring from your mind, full grown like Athena is wishful thinking.

You can take action to foster and grow your creativity today by simply being creative. After all, “If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.”

photo credit: uhtofu

I love simplicity. Pretty obvious, right? Me and simplicity are sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g. But am I always successful at keeping things simple? Not so much.

Life always comes down to balance, so if want to be good at one thing, I’m probably going to have suck at something else. So, in honor of the idea that imperfection can be inspiring I’m sharing three things I suck at:

1. Going to bed on time. Can’t do it. Never have. There’s always something more interesting to be done!
2. Completing projects. I have half completed hook rugs from fifth grade, random walls left unpainted, and a closet full of decluttered stuff I still haven’t moved out of the house. I’m a pretty decent starter, but not a fabulous finisher.
3. Eating healthy. What can I say? I love cookies like I love my own sister. I would marry both Ben and Jerry if polygamy were allowed. At one point, I’m pretty sure I actually sold my soul for a Ring Ding. I make a valiant effort from time to time, but I’m just not there yet.

What about you? None of us are perfect, and it feels pretty good to admit it. So leap into the comments and share something you suck at! Unless you suck at commenting, in which case, just have a great weekend!

photo credit: Georgieporge

In an email exchange following my post on Dealing with Disappointment, reader Mike Sowden of Fevered Mutterings offered the following bit of wisdom:

“Mistakes and disappointments are a call to arms for the soul.”

It’s easy to be loving, generous, funny, and creative when life is all roses and sunshine. The challenge comes when things don’t go our way. When life disappoints us (or we simply disappoint ourselves), we have to dig deep to be our best selves.

Mistakes and disappoints force us to call on our deeper reserves of character and motivation—our very souls. They force us to question our values and decide whether or not to move boldly forward or retreat into safety. Living through the hard times is what forges our will and makes manifest our desires.

Embrace Your Next Mistake and Uncover a Better You

The next time you make a mistake (I’m talking fall-flat-on-your-face here), consider it for what it is: a challenge to be a better, stronger, more viable, vibrant you. Embrace it and let that call to arms bring the best of you to the surface. Then fight like hell to keep that spirit at the surface of your life regardless of external circumstances.

And through it all, keep in mind, as Mike added, not only are mistakes and disappointments a call to arms for the soul, “they’re where fun comes from.”