On Losing Sleep and Letting Go

Posted on September 01st, 2009 in Health

I was never one who was blessed with deep, easy sleep. Even as a young teenager, sleep felt more like a battle than a release. Each hour was fought for and earned. Sleep was a privilege, not a right, and I was insanely jealous of folks who would fall asleep mere minutes after setting their heads against their pillows.

Then I fell in love. I moved to Idaho. I took a different job. And I became one of those fortunate few. It didn’t take long to take easy, peaceful sleep for granted. Of course I would sleep well tonight—why wouldn’t I? Those poor saps who couldn’t sleep (like my husband) were easy to empathize with, but hard to truly pity. Only those who struggle to fall asleep each night truly understand on a gut level just how life-sucking insomnia can be.

I want to sleep like this again...

And, as you’ve probably predicted, I am no longer a member of the good night’s sleep club. I toss. I turn. I try to keep my mind off of unpleasant things as the hours grow lighter. I ache. And it sucks. While I used to think I was doomed to poor sleep by genetics, I know better now. And something has to change.

I throw out the following suggestions and methods not as a sleep expert, but as a person ready to experiment and find a solution. If you’re struggling to sleep restfully, please feel free to experiment along with me and let everyone know what’s worked (or not worked) for you. We’ve got nothing better to do in the wee hours, right?

Journaling

Some folks have trouble falling asleep because they’ve simply got too much on their minds. How can the mind relax if it’s trying to remember 80 things and solve problems? Journaling is one way to address this particular problem. Before bed, write out everything that’s on your mind, from remembering to defrost hamburger in the morning to the exact situation that’s stressing you out at work. You may not find answers, but your mind may rest easier knowing that the thought is expressed and will be remembered.

Meditation

Focus on breathing as a way to take the mind off its concerns. When your mind wanders toward anything besides an awareness of your breathing, calmly bring your focus back. In essence, you’re training your mind to be mindful.

Exercise

Sometimes it’s not mental, it’s physical. Sleep is harder to fight if you’ve exhausted your body. Of course, exercise should not be done just prior to bedtime; at least four hours prior seems to be the general recommendation.

Ritualize Bedtime

Create a ritual that signifies to your mind and body that it’s time to relax, let go and focus on sleep. This may mean turning the TV off an hour before bed, taking a warm shower, sipping a cup of chamomile, and/or reading for a few minutes. Think of your rituals as a buffer, a way to smooth the transition from your often hectic life and multiple inputs to a state of tranquility.

Eliminate Distractions

Of course I won’t fall asleep if the TV is on. Hawaii Five-O is way too interesting! Make your bedroom a place of rest and get rid of TVs, computers, work areas, and even books (if that’s a problem).

Get Comfortable

Again, no matter how relaxed your mind is, you’re in trouble if your body is in knots. Having the right pillow and mattress really can affect your overall sleep quality. Room temperature is important as well; too hot or too cold can prevent you from drifting off easily. (And why does it always seem uncomfortably hot when it’s 2 AM and you can’t sleep? Any explanations for that?)

Use Your Days Wisely

If stupid problems are keeping you up at night, then spend your days trying to solve them. You may not be able to dig out of debt or fix your marriage in one day, but taking action is a huge step forward to eventually ending the problem (and your insomnia!).

Again, I’m not offering answers. I’m spelling out the options that I’ll be looking into in my quest for better, more restful sleep. If you’ve got any advice or suggestions, please drop into the comments and share.

Ridiculously adorable photo courtesy of Hamed Saber

This post has 14 comments

NMPatricia
September 1st, 2009
I will be watching the comments on this one very carefully. I have a terrible time getting to sleep and staying asleep. I do many of the suggestions. The one sentence that I keyed in on is “I ache”. Amen to that one. I find myself up pacing at night. Don’t think it is RLS, but then again, haven’t been to a doctor. (Can’t afford one right now!) I have found that Camomile tea helps as does a small snack just before bed. But helps is not the same as getting sleep. As was said, “Only those who struggle to fall asleep each night truly understand on a gut level just how life-sucking insomnia can be.” Thanks for the post.
Esmeralda
September 1st, 2009
I think your diet is a big factor in getting a good night’s sleep. Once I cleaned up my diet, getting rid of preservatives, high fructose corn syrup, and to an extent, gluten, there was a remarkable improvement in sleeping through the night.

Also, limit caffeine intake to the morning and early afternoon hours. I try not to drink coffee or tea after 3.
Positively Present
September 1st, 2009
Great list of options! I find that rituals really help. If your body knows it’s supposed to be going to sleep, it starts to get tired. Also, definitely don’t have the TV on. It really makes it hard to sleep because it’s so stimulating.
Positively Present´s last blog ..look for opportunities (to read!) everywhere
Molly Warren
September 1st, 2009
I have been blessed with the ability to put my head on a pillow and be asleep within 15 mintues. (This with a TV on !!) However, I have lots of family & friends that this is not true for them. I was introduced to melatonin strips and gave family some samples and they tell me that it has helped alot. I do not want to PUSH anything on anyone….but I would be glad to sell just one melatonin cassette (14 strips) to you. That way you do not have to purchased from my website that requires you to buy 4 cassettes @ $40.00 plus shipping. If anyone is interested in talking with me, please email. I truly believe everyone should have a opportunity for a night’s good solid sleep.

Thanks
Molly
Robyn
September 1st, 2009
Bath & Body Works makes an aromatherapy pillow spray that is scented like Lavendar and Chamomile. It can be so soothing to have a familiar scent that you associate with specific activities — coffee in the morning, clean laundry on Sundays and lavendar-chamomile at bed time.

Oh, and crisp sheets really do it for me, too. I’m not sure why, but clean, crisp-feeling sheets REALLY help lock in a “bedtime” mentality.
Miss Lazy
September 1st, 2009
I went through a period of really bad insomnia surrounding the time I got married and for about a year after that. I tried everything from rituals to taking those nighttime medications (like Tylenol PM – and I am not usually a pill-popper). I finally came across something that really helped a year into my insomnia. It’s a supplement (like a vitamin) called 5-HTP, which you can get at Whole Foods, that I would take before bed and fall asleep within about a half hour to hour. After a couple of months taking that, I had basically overcome my insomnia. Every once in a while I still lay awake thinking about things, but generally I no longer have a problem. I highly recommend the 5-HTP!

A few other things I recommend are: drink less alcohol (alcoholic beverages can increase your chances of having insomnia), don’t go to bed on an empty stomach (chances are you’ll lie there uncomfortably and just think about food for about an hour and finally give in), and turn off all lights (this pertains to the ritual part in the post – I’ve found it very important to have complete darkness in order to relax the mind and body).

I agree with everything Sara posted, and I hope my tips will be helpful!
Miss Lazy´s last blog ..The Roku Beast
Vicki K
September 1st, 2009
My husband suffers with this problem. Recently, I read about using the computer before bedtime, the light hampers the serotonin in your brain that helps you fall asleep.
Sara
September 1st, 2009
Esmerelda: Thanks for bringing up diet and caffeine. I can’t imagine how one’s diet as well as eating schedule wouldn’t affect sleep quality. We haven’t been cooking as much lately; I wonder if that’s playing any role in this.
Carla
September 2nd, 2009
I am one of the lucky ones who have no problems sleeping. Probably the only good thing about having MS is that fact that we sleep really well due to the fact we are always exhausted during the day!

I had a little snippet of what insomnia is like last spring when I had to take a steroid due to a drug eruption. For those weeks I was on that drug, I was miserable due to not being able to fall asleep at night. I would maybe sleep for about 3-4 hours towards the end of the night. All the exercise in the word didnt do anything.

I really feel for people who have it chronically.
Carla´s last blog ..Giveaway: Eco-Friendly Alternative to Paper Towels – SKOY Cloths
Sagan
September 2nd, 2009
Sighs. I’ve tried all of those things. I still can’t get a good night’s rest. At least I’m not having as many nightmares these days and I’m not waking up tons throughout the night.
Nicki at Domestic Cents
September 2nd, 2009
I’m with ya. A good night’s sleep is like winning the lottery. I wake up in the morning, realizing I fell asleep right away AND slept through the night and I’m instantly humming Those days are not frequent enough!
Nicki at Domestic Cents´s last blog ..Easy Finger Puppets
Anne
September 2nd, 2009
My husband was having a tough time staying asleep at night – waking up consistently at 4 am and not being able to get back to sleep. He started taking something called “Revitalizing Sleep Formula” – an over-the-counter, all natural supplement of valerian root. He started sleeping so well, I tried it too. My nights had been somewhat restless but now I sleep very soundly and wake up well-rested.
Anne´s last blog ..Recommended Reading
Vijay - Meditation Techniques Guide
September 5th, 2009
Excellent Post! It is true that insomnia is a very bothersome issue and takes away the joy of life. I have found that meditation on the breath and sounds have proven very beneficial in overcoming the problem of insomnia and difficulty in falling asleep. They help to de-condition and clear the mind.
Vijay – Meditation Techniques Guide´s last blog ..Vipassana Meditation
Ginny
September 16th, 2009
Thanks for the post. I have been struggling with sleep for 4 years or so. I have tried everything. And nothing has worked for me but Ambien. And that comes with its own set of issues.

It is comforting just to know I have company in the area of insomnia. There seem to be lots of us out there. Of all of the issues that accompany menopause I have found the sleeplessness to be the most trying of all. I sure hope it comes back one day.