Rethinking What Makes a House a Home
Browse any furniture or home goods catalog and you’ll likely get the impression that elegant furnishings, designer pillows, factory-fresh tchotchkes and carefully placed objects d’art are what turn a building into a home. Perhaps if you buy a set of apothecary jars and fill them with something unique or fresh, your house will also feel inviting and impressive. And to be honest, they just might. But they won’t make your house (or apartment) home.
What Makes a Space Your Home?
Decorations and linens don’t transform a space from four walls and a ceiling to a getaway, a sanctuary, a place of warmth and love. They may express the love you have for your home, but they can’t add love that isn’t already in the air. So what does make a house into a real home? There are countless answers, but here are the things that I gravitate towards in my home, and any home:
A Napping Spot
Every house should have a napping spot. This is the chair, couch, or chaise that you sit in fully intending to read a book, sip a cup of coffee, or sketch out some notes. By some inverse black hole phenomenon, though, you will always fall asleep in this spot. The sleep is blissful and welcomed. The napping spot is an essential for me: a place that’s so irresistibly comfortable you can’t help but relax and forget your concerns.
A Complete and Total Imperfection
Homes aren’t perfect because they’re flawless; they’re perfect because they’re fully lived in. This may mean that there’s a chipped tile where you dropped a vase, a dent in a wall from a vigorous wrestling match, or a carpet stain from a spilled drink at a party. (We have all these and more in my house…) Imperfections are sign of living in a place and not around it.
Your Favorite Color
I love walking into a home and instantly knowing what a person’s favorite color is—the color that makes them feel happy, refreshed, and excited. You never get that kind of feeling from a model home (for good reason). Color is such an extension of personality, and there’s no reason to keep yours hidden because it isn’t “stylish” or it’s unusual. Home is a place where you are free to express yourself, and a healthy dose of your favorite hues is a very personal way to do that.
Signs of Life Well Lived
Flip flops by the door, dishes in the sink, jackets slung over chairs, and books on any and every surface: these are the real makings of a home. No matter how nice perfect homes look in catalogs and magazines, there’s always an element of sterility to them. That’s what happens to things that are meant to looked at and not lived in. It’s a nice fantasy, but I think the reality is so much better. A coffee cup sitting on a table, a game controller on the ottoman, and a tote bag full of daytrip items yet to be put away… These are the little things that add life and color to each day, and they’re also a fantastic reason to only bring items into your home that you love. When even your coffee mugs and shoes make you smile, they’re not clutter, they’re an integral part of your home.
What makes your house or apartment home? Is it a certain smell? A breeze through a screen door? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
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This post has 20 comments
August 17th, 2009
love this, sara!
August 17th, 2009
As we pack up one house and head to another I am thinking about this type of thing a lot. I think light is one thing that makes my house a home. I need there to be good light. The other thing is art. There needs to be something beautiful and interesting and mind-expanding to look at on the walls. Everything else is negotiable.
August 17th, 2009
Great question.
First, what makes any space mine is control over who enters, is invited in, and who stays/leaves and when. This is major. If we don’t have that, it is NOT our space. It’s just A space we use.
Two, it’s our freedom to create a physical space as we see fit and can afford it. (Oh, can any of us have the house we want? Last nite I spoke to friends who have perhaps the most wonderful home, not just because it’s physically beautiful and comfortable, but because they are the most gracious people who make everyone feel welcome and really THINK about how to make people feel at ease in their home. If homes could be rated, they would be 5+ stars. Even they are unhappy with their abode.)
Three, it’s the personality of the inhabitants and how it is expressed via items,layout, etc. This is not about the interior design at all. Or even neatness or order or absence or presence of clutter.
Four, it’s the sense of ease and comfort we create for ourselves and others within that space. That comes from the love and caring we offer in that space, for ourselves and others…which explains why many beautiful spaces are truly empty of emotion and feeling and passion.
Five, it’s our stuff (no matter how much or how little). Our clothing, etc. acquired over the years, and often, special memories associated with them.
Six, it’s the memories of shared time and experiences (Am I the only one who mourned throwing out a mattress that had memories of a great love shared on it?)in that space.
Seven, sometimes it is a smell. The smell of one’s cats and dogs. Of one’s family, especially the kids. Of certain items.
Eight, it’s the feeling of safety you have (hopefully) when you enter and close the door on the rest of the world and come into the one you have created.
In the end, I’d have to go Zen. “Home” is within us and if we truly feel it, it is anywhere we go.
But practically speaking, See reasons 1 to 8. LOL
August 17th, 2009
I think you captured it perfectly in this sentence: “Flip flops by the door, dishes in the sink, jackets slung over chairs, and books on any and every surface: these are the real makings of a home.”
And my favorite color is blue, which you’ll see right away in my big blue couch.
August 17th, 2009
Totally love the point about imperfection. Even museums have scratched up floors. Why should houses look like a catalog instead of a home?
August 17th, 2009
Mletta, your comment made me smile. I thought about adding “dog hair” to the list somewhere, but didn’t want to gross anyone out. But in my home, dog hair truly is a part of the homey aesthetic. Creepy but honest.
August 17th, 2009
What makes our house a home?
The smell of essential oils I use in my cleaning supplies.
A bed that’s made up but not hotel perfect.
Hand knitted throws.
Homemade pillows.
Later in the day, the smell of dinner being prepared.
August 17th, 2009
I totally agree
A post that completely echoes my opinion. I feel uncomfortable in houses that look like they are model houses – built for visits and never to live in or invite guests
August 18th, 2009
I’m messy, so definitely things lying around, but number 1 is my dog. Forget smell, hair etc – just having a pet around makes a house into a home for me.
August 18th, 2009
A pile of games from last night’s family night, a book left lying on the couch, an unfinished puzzle on the dining room table,a soft throw left tossed over the arm of the couch — all are sights I love to see in my home because it says our home is a shelter from the world, a place to be nurtured, a haven to reaffirm the importance of family . . .
August 18th, 2009
Gotta be the big X on the floor, made out of masking tape, which says “CAUTION” because the floorboard sinks. hehe.
August 18th, 2009
We haven’t been able to really personalize our space with color, etc because we don’t have much money (haven’t for a while) and as a result, much of our furnishings are things that we either were given, or were able to get cheap.
But our house is still a home. For me, it’s the books and the plants. My Significant Other and I are both bibliophiles, and we have nearly enough books to re-insulate our house. But I like it like that, books are home, to me. I also have plants all over our living roome, which is south-facing and is flooded in sunshine all year. Bamboo, Bonsais, and tropical flowering plants. When I’ve gotten really busy and haven’t gotten to clearning and repotting my plants for too long, I sometimes growl at myself that I shouldn’t have so many.
But I know, it just wouldn’t feel like home without my plants.
August 18th, 2009
Heather, I would love to have a green thumb like you. Plants really do bring life to a space. I’m not consistent, though, so I’m lucky to have one great arrangement that seemingly refuses to die on me. (Knock on wood!)
August 18th, 2009
For me it is color, candles and plants.
I have hardly any furniture, I have plants, candles and I color my walls a warm terra cotta red. I can live anywhere with those 3 things, they make me feel at home and make any place look like a beautiful home.
August 19th, 2009
Hi there,
So besides the hallway which is bright yellow when you arrive, the rest of it more subdued white/cream with orange/rad dots made by decorative pieces.
We used to have a lot of bright colors in our house. Then we started changing furniture and rearranging the house as we like it and then the colors did not fit anymore. They were too loud. We have two small kids who take care of the loud now
Our home looks very catalogue like when it comes to the furniture and deco, but what makes it alive are the toys that find their way into every corner. It’s the books, magazines, cooking utensils etc that are not always cleared away right away. It’s the shoes, jackets that kids drop just about anywhere.
Thanks for triggering theses thoughts.
M
August 19th, 2009
What makes a house a home:
An X where I’m pointed towards and told to sit on it, whenever I get underfoot.
Wide window ledges in the sun with bird feeders outside for kitties.
Comfy chairs by the fireplace with thick throws and pillows for winter night reading.
Our very own gazebo over the hot tub with screens for privacy.
My desk with my computers (plural), tools, books, and papers close at hand.
All sorts of neat furniture ideas from Ikea and Ikeahacker
http://ikeahacker.blogspot.com/
August 20th, 2009
Our rental house feels like home when there is board game left on the rug, dog toys scattered on the floor, a lit candle somewhere, clothes fluttering on the line, and a breeze coming in from open doors and windows. The military moves us all the time but we have learned to make things feel homey even with boxes stacked up to ceiling!
August 26th, 2009
My home has a few napping spots. The old, roughed up, kinda stained, eyesore-ish couch. The papasan in the bedroom. Both are far from perfect, yet make me comfortable whenever I sit down, and inevitably, fall asleep. They really do make it feel like home
Simple Llama´s last blog ..iPhone contribues to a simple life
August 28th, 2009
“Decorations and linens don’t transform a space from four walls and a ceiling to a getaway, a sanctuary, a place of warmth and love. They may express the love you have for your home, but they can’t add love that isn’t already in the air.”
That line punched me in the gut (which I mean in the best way). I remember a really bad time in my life when I HATED my little apartment, even though I had added the personal touch and really made it my own. It wasn’t until I got out of my funk and started inviting friends over that I began to love that place the way it deserved.
I think that you could say that a home simply means the place where love is.
Gabriel´s last blog ..Amateurs and Professionals
November 15th, 2009
“A home without a cat- and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat- may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?”
- Pudd’nhead Wilson
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