Finding Sanctuary in Yourself

I wrote a few weeks ago about the new luxury of silence. I couldn’t help reflecting later that not everyone has that luxury. Whether it’s because of a shared living situation, kids being kids, location, or just the after-effects of another person’s lifestyle, we can’t rely on being able to find silence as a sanctuary. We have to be able to find sanctuary in ourselves.
Here are a few strategies for becoming your own sanctuary:
Find Your Flow State
Csikszentmihaly first outlined the idea of flow: the state in which we lose track of time while remaining fully engaged in and excel at an activity. The activity must be interesting and hold some degree of challenge. A flow state may be one of the most useful ways to take sanctuary. Consider the hobbies and activities you’ve enjoyed in the past. What are the things you stayed up way too late working on? When did you lose track of time? These are things you can call upon when you need to find a level of inner quiet. For some, the rhythmic and artistic nature of crafts such as needlepoint and beading create flow states. For others, coding and cooking work. Find the activities that have the potential to put you into a flow state for peace of mind amid chaos for and turn to them when you need sanctuary.
Practice Meditation
Okay, it’s starting to become a running joke that I don’t meditate, no matter how many times it gets brought up. Still, I remain fully convinced that those who’ve mastered meditation get great benefits from it. Studies show that during periods of meditation, brain function moves to a calmer cortex and fear centers become less active. If you can’t quiet the world around you, meditation lets you quiet the world within. For meditation tips, you might check out Goodlife Zen or Litemind’s guide to creating a mental sanctuary.
Take It on the Run
If you’re surrounded by noise, try running away from it. Literally. When you’re exercising (even just walking), it becomes easy to tune out surrounding chaos and focus on your senses. You can hear, taste, and feel your breaths going in and out. Exercising helps you get lost in your own world, in pushing your body and feeling it respond. Also, you’re more likely to sleep better, which is truly the most rejuvenating sanctuary there is.
Embrace the Chaos
If there’s really no way the kids are going to stop running around and give you a moment of peace (and seriously, when does that happen?), it’s time to regroup. The best way to relax might just be to surrender to the chaos. Instead of attempting to control the noise and activity, try joining in wholeheartedly. Be the leader of the kitchen band and play the loudest you possibly can. Instead of getting aggravated by your roommate’s music, try dancing to it. Construction and crowds outside your window? Try people watching and see if anything inspires you when you stop trying to block it out.
So what works for you? How do you find sanctuary amidst chaos or in your everyday life?
photo credit: stephcarter






This post has 19 comments
March 2nd, 2009
I have noisy neighbors and thin walls, so I adjusted my work schedule (since I work from home) to graveyard shifts, staying up all night, enjoying the bliss of complete quiet and solitude, then sleeping as much as I want during the day, while the trash trucks come by, the neighbors’ dogs bark, etc. It’s wonderful! I’m get ready for bed right as my boyfriend leaves for work in the morning and usually don’t get up again till a few hours before he gets home in the evening. It’s working out surprisingly well for both of us. : )
March 2nd, 2009
Hi Sara,
‘Sanctuary’ is one of my favourite words, and I’m glad you posted this. I find sanctuary in the midst of chaos:
1. In my journal. When I’m writing, usually at a Starbucks somewhere, the world just fades into the background.
2. On my jogs. I just came back from one actually – flowers and leaves were falling all around me and lightning streaked across the sky. There is such peace in the forces of nature.
3. Behind closed doors. I light a few candles in my room and all the noises outside the room seem to be from a different world.
Daphnes last blog post..Do You Have A Personal Creed?
March 2nd, 2009
You make me laugh Sara:
I promise that there are a lot of benefits to be had, which guide have you followed so far to practice? I can meditate for around 30 minutes now and not get too disrupted by my thoughts or wish time would go quicker.
Great post!
Cheers,
Glen
Glen Allsopps last blog post..The Most Inspiring Video You’ll Watch This Year
March 2nd, 2009
I’m of the mindset “if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em”. So yes, I am the one joining in with my kid while he plays the “running around the room screaming our heads off” game. When it’s sounds of the neighborhood I try to break down the “noise” into it’s individual components and see just how many things I can hear. It’s amazing what you notice when you just pay attention. There’s more to the noise than just the lawnmower humming along. There’s usually 3 or 4 birds, kids chatting, cars driving past, doors opening and closing etc…
March 2nd, 2009
I love your ideas for how to get into a flow state, especially # 1. I love to craft, but have not been able to do it much since I had kids because they keep me on my toes.
Sometimes I don’t have that big of a block of time, so closing the door and taking a nice long hot shower really seems to help restore my soul sometimes.
Taylor at Household Management 101s last blog post..Mar 2, Grass and Mud Stains
March 2nd, 2009
Here are the ways that I find sanctuary in the midst of chaos: listening and dancing to music; walking; just sitting on the couch and looking out the window (I don’t do this as much as I would like); spending time in a bookstore; and when I am researching and writing posts for my blog. Actually, when I am doing something that I love, time just flies.
Nadia-Happy Lotuss last blog post..The First Step To Happiness
March 2nd, 2009
I live alone and work from home so you would think my whole was quiet but somehow it isn’t! I’m going to work on finding my sanctuary by putting some of your suggestions to the test. Thanks!
March 2nd, 2009
Silence is hard to find! It is even harder once you have kids. I use exercise at home to escape for 20-30 minutes. I also try to catch a few quiet moments in the car during my lunch break. It is all beneficial.
Jeff@MySuperChargedLifes last blog post..Overcoming Selfishness For A Simpler and Successful Life
March 2nd, 2009
Great post! I really like the idea of using flow.
I find daily meditation helps me find sanctuary. When things really feel out of control, I try to gain perspective and think how will I feel about this in five years. Usually, it won’t matter at all and that helps calm me.
Roger – A Content Lifes last blog post..Can More Money Make You Happier?
March 2nd, 2009
I like your post. It’s easier for me to be in the flow when I have a clean desk. Which is why like Daphne I can’t light a candle!
Tess The Bold Lifes last blog post..Magic Mondays with Eric Hamm
March 2nd, 2009
My sanctuary actually comes when I’m washing dishes – the noise of the water pretty much drowns out everything, and the repetition of wash-rinse-dry leaves my mind free to wander wherever it will. It’s where I come up with my best ideas.
Feral Historians last blog post..saving it from what?
March 2nd, 2009
I find it in my studio (I call it my Inspiration Studio!). I craft here, I blog here and I relax here in my ‘new to me’ madeover room (was my daughters, she moved ‘up’ to her brothers vacated room, since he moved out). I also LOVE time when my teen daughter is out enjoying her friends and I leave the tv off and just ENJOY the quiet. Reading a book, a long hot bath with candles…. a drive through the country making sure to ’stop to smell the roses’. It has been a learned process…but one I have enjoyed.
Sherri Ss last blog post..Blue Monday and Vacation….
March 2nd, 2009
I love the idea of the “flow state!” Definitely gave me something to linger on for the next few days…
Christophers last blog post..Woman with Two Wombs Delivers Twin Daughters
March 2nd, 2009
I go into my personal sanctuary almost every night. In this space, I spend time meditating, writing my private journals, visualizing or practicing inner healing. It is definitely time well spent!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..Interview On How To Attract Life Balance
March 2nd, 2009
I find sanctuary in walking and in writing- I cease to hear things and get distracted when I’m doing those things!
Sagans last blog post..Book Review: “The New Rules of Lifting for Women” by Lou Schuler
March 3rd, 2009
Thanks for adding more ideas! I just got back from a quick vacation and I have to say, I had a hard time finding sanctuary in myself in the middle of a NASCAR race. It was definitely an “embrace the chaos” kind of moment!
March 4th, 2009
Quilting — it has a nice balance of thinking and just being in the flow.
Also, I do an easy shower relaxation/meditation, especially when its crazy around here — with two small boys, the shower is sometimes my only quiet place. Just before I get out of the shower, I imagine all my stress rising to the surface of my body, then being washed away by the water. After about a minute, I feel much calmer. Sounds crazy, but it really works.
Also, going for a walk and focusing outwards — only on the sights and sounds around me — while calming all the thoughts in my mind.
jills last blog post..seasonal celebrations swap button
March 5th, 2009
Meditation is something I do most very morning to start my day. I usually read something and try and meditate on a particular theme. It might be writing, faith, family, etc. It starts my day in the right frame of mind and direction.
I think I am able to accomplish this because I rise early. So by the time spouse and kids are getting up I am ready for the whole chaos thing to re-start.
Good post.
Scotts last blog post..Developing Objectives for a Social Media Strategy Part 2
March 9th, 2009
I live alone and work from home so you would think my whole was quiet but somehow it isn’t!
Outdoor lampss last blog post..Commercial street lights
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