You’re Stressed Out, You’re Mad, and You’re Ready to Punch Someone in the Face
Does that headline sound like you? CNN reports that roughly 80 percent of people report feeling stress, largely due to the economy. Clearly, you’re not alone. That doesn’t mean can’t take steps to improve how you’re feeling. If you’re trying to avoid sucker punching your coworker, you might try some of the following tactics to stress less:
Take Five Minutes for Yourself
One of the culprits behind debilitating stress is a feeling of a loss of control. There are too many demands to meet, too many people to please, and not enough time or resources to do it all. Of course, for most of us, this isn’t actually true: it just feels that way. Bust this out-of-control feeling by forcing yourself to take five minutes to yourself. What you do in that five minutes is up to you: scream, quote angry Napoleon Dynamite moments, sing Aretha Franklin, meditate, or just breathe. The world won’t fall apart. Take this moment to remember that you’re in control. Even if you don’t like them, your choices are yours. If you really had to, you could walk out the door. Once you accept your choices, the world can seem easier to handle—less looming, more manageable. In the worst case, you’re only five minutes behind.
Give Yourself a Treat
It’s hard to be angry when you’re in the throes of bliss. The bliss is up to you; I love enjoying a rare Pepsi, a fantastic kiss, or a good song. Soak in the happy feelings and let it squish the anger out. You only have room for so many raging emotions, so replace the anger with pure self-indulgent pleasure.
Help Someone Else
It sounds sappy, and it totally is. But helping someone else, someone who really needs it, is a great way to snap yourself out of an idiot-induced rage. That may mean emailing a contact who needs a boost or just offering to dive into a sticky project. It gets you out of yourself, which is often the best tactic for yourself and the world at large.
Talk to a Friend Who Won’t Take You Too Seriously
I love bitching and moaning to my husband because he never lets me take it seriously. He sympathizes, he listens, and then he teases (either me or the situation I’m frustrated with). First, though, give your friend the heads-up that you’re just venting. You don’t need them to take any action beyond just listening to you as you get it off your chest. Then tell each other a terrible joke. It’s not a permanent fix, but it lets off some steam to avoid a crisis.
Acknowledge That You’re Pissed
Stop trying to play nice. Admit that you’re blood-boilingly angry. A big portion of your anger builds up, trying to get you to recognize a problem. If you keep ignoring it, you’re not going to automatically feel better.
As a Last Resort, Make Yourself Sick of Your Own Whining
Okay, I’m not big on self-pity and complaining without taking action. But if you just can’t stop feeling frustrated and angry, then give it a try. Write out your angry thoughts, speak them in your head over and over, whatever works for you. Do it in a Napoleon Dynamite voice. (Seriously, this is what works for me. I can’t help but crack up at how angry that character gets at small things. Gives me perspective.) At some point, you’re going to get sick of being helpless and angry. Some burdens we just have to carry until we’re ready to drop them. Speed the process up and get it over with as soon as possible.
This list is by no means exhaustive. It’s just what works for me. What works for you?






This post has 11 comments
December 8th, 2008
Hi everyone! Sorry for the comments being closed on this one; it was not intentional. (And thanks, Kathy, for letting me know!)
I sincerely hope I didn’t give you a reason to want to punch me in the face.
Comments are now open.
December 8th, 2008
My fav: Getting home, firing up the game console or computer, and blowing up the bad guys! Nothing to make you feel better than securing peace and harmony through superior firepower!
December 8th, 2008
I often just acknowledge my pissy mood…more as a warning to those around me.
Squawkfoxs last blog post..Printable Sewing Patterns: Softie Christmas Tree
December 8th, 2008
Very very good ways to deal with it. If we just hide the emotion and don’t figure out a way to handle it, then its all going to explode and that’s never a good thing!
December 8th, 2008
thank you.
i sneak into my kids’ rooms when they’re sleeping to tuck them in, give them a kiss and i sniff them. i know that sounds weird…but burying my face in their baby soft hair, gently nuzzling their warm necks and smelling that combination of little boy/baby/shampoo gives me the warm fuzzies and reminds me what’s REALLY important.
December 8th, 2008
When I get angry, I often get “sulky.” The thing is, my Mother does the same thing and it drives me crazy. So when I sense myself doing it I think about how horrible it is for everyone around when my Mom does it, and that usually shakes some sense into me…
I’m actually reading a great book right now, Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, on the mechanisms of stress in the body (of which anger – especially the pent up variety – is a big one). If you’d like to know what your hormones are doing to you while you contemplate putting that fist through a wall, it’s worth a read. And by the way, you are better off to either get it over with and throw the punch or just shake it off. Because brooding over it is doing nasty things inside your body.
Cheers,
Adam
Adam Steers last blog post..Great Abs with the Clubbell Flag Press
December 8th, 2008
So I’ve been stressed out a lot lately (work and studying to do). Have I been angry? Nah, not so much.
But today, as I stood in line to buy a totally hot cup o’ coffee, some dude totally bumped into me and made me burn my hand. It was then that I felt REALLY angry and almost punched him in the face! (Ok, I wouldn’t have really punched him in the face. But I did get pretty upset. Mostly because it hurt like hell).
Ricardo Buenos last blog post..Yup…I’m Addicted to Social Media! You?
December 8th, 2008
Sara
Like you, I find that making myself sick of my own complaining does the trick. That and a glass of wine…
kathys last blog post..Why I Work Standing Up
December 8th, 2008
5 things I learned that help:
1. Emotional intelligence – I like the idea of improving emotional intelligence.
2. One of my martial arts instructors once said, “don’t let other people push your buttons.” I think back to that now and then.
3. I remember Covey’s point about controlling your choices during the gap between the stimulus and the response.
4. “Master My Stories” – it’s a pattern I learned from Crucial Conversations, and it’s about telling yourself better stories to improve how you think and feel.
5. Raise your frustration tolerance – This is the most important lesson I learned. Once I found out that a low-frustration tolerance was the single biggest factor for unhappiness, I raised my bar. It was an immediate “ah ha” and immediate effect.
J.D.Meiers last blog post..Lessons Learned from Peaceful Warrior
December 9th, 2008
This is a totally awesome post. My partner and I do all of the things you listed as stress-relievers. I also find that regular exercise makes me far more mellow in general as well as making me slower to get angry.
Thank you for posting this. It was a valuable reminder for me. (:
Kyelis last blog post..The Triiibes Blog Project
April 16th, 2009
well im 14 and this girl is just plain weird and talks to me like a stupid a** and i get very angry but i learn to deal with it there just haters what i learned was that to take a deep breath and just let it blow over dont give them the attention they want because they like to see you react and know your weakess point. -destiny
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