Seduction Bachelor Style
When I found a copy of Neil Strauss’s The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists in my husband’s books recently, I couldn’t decide whether I was horrified or intrigued. This book, which had its 15 minutes of infamy a few years ago, details the story of a self-professed geek who immerses himself in the seduction community and comes out a master pickup artist.  It’s not a pickup guide, though there’s a lot of that in there. And it’s not a moralistic tale, though there’s a lot of that, too. In the end, I was surprised to find the book to be a plea for authenticity–in essence, personal simplicity. There are a ton of different messages you could take away from a book like this, and here’s what resonated with me:

First, meeting and interacting with people is easy. Amazingly easy. Take out the pseudo-hypnotism, the magic tricks, and the canned “routines,” and these pickup gurus have one communication secret: asking another person a question. That’s it.  People of both genders are more than willing to start a conversation with you provided you show a modicum of interest in them. I wouldn’t recommend memorizing fake hypotheticals and asking every person in the room if they believe in spells, but if you want to start a conversation, asking for an opinion on something you’re truly curious about is a simple, effective solution.*

Second, all the stuff in the world can’t make you feel worthy. Not a mansion, not an army of weirdo pickup artist followers, and certainly not a pet wallaby.  (I’m not kidding.) Throughout the book, Strauss shares stories of men (and women) who are looking to be validated. It’s what drives them into the pickup community, and what makes them chase phone numbers and hookups instead of relationships. What they’re really missing, though, is a sense of inner worth and a support system of genuine friends. Everything else (the “number,” the flashy clothes, the nice car, the devotees) is just noise that gets between you and what is truly satisfying. Trying to buy friends and happiness will eventually make you crazy and/or a megalomaniac. I mean, the person who comes off the most “normal” in this book is Courtney Love, who just wants to make everyone lemonade and muffins. Dude.

Finally, you already have everything you need to be happy and complete. The real trick is surrounding yourself with people psychotic enough to make you appreciate it. Many of the pickup artists profiled in the book turned their lives upside down to fit into an appealing lifestyle. They changed their looks, their habits, their mannerisms, their lifestyle, and their way of thinking. (Oh, and they pay a ton of money to other dudes to do so.) And it gave them everything they’d hoped for: friends, women, and a chance to be an alpha male instead of a target. Here’s the kicker: many of them give it all up in the end and gratefully return to the “dorky” lives they once considered inferior. They’d had happiness and contentment all along. They just needed space, and daily episodes from drama-drunk male divas to appreciate it.

I bet everyone is going to have a different reaction to this—what’s yours?

*And apparently, it works especially well if you wear either platform boots, a shirt with an LCD screen, or a pink cowboy hat. Don’t ask me. No one ever talks to me when I wear my pink cowboy hat. ;)

Creative Commons License photo credit: Marxchivist

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