Lessons Learned from Putting Simplicity to the Test
My husband has been laid up for about a month now. It hasn’t been easy, but it also hasn’t been that hard, even with a recent out-of-town conference thrown in. I have picked up some new tricks along the way. And come to find out, I have a lot of fun planning out meals so that we eat new and different things. (The garlic salmon? Good! The crab won-tons? Not so much.) We’re about halfway through with this little experiment, which is just a euphemism for “Sara does all the work,” and here’s the main things I’ve taken away so far.
Having a range of basic skills makes your life easier. I needed to wear far more hats than usual over the past few weeks. It became very clear that by avoiding some tasks, I’d only made life harder for myself. Taking the time to learn basic skills like cooking, tracking finances, lawn care, and auto maintenance makes your life easier and are all well worth the investment of time to learn.
Going on the “To Do” List: Learn how to change a sprinkler head.
Family and friends are worth their weight in gold. Freshly prepared beef stew delivered to your door? No one but family or a really good friend is going to do that for free. Because we’re fortunate enough to have good family relations, we had a built-in support network. From hot baked cinnamon rolls and the occasional lawn mowing to having friends to call at all hours of the day, it was a joy to remember that there are people in the world you can count on. Maintaining these relationships is a great way to help everyone, including yourself, make life simple during challenging times.
Going on the “To Do” List: Add in birthday reminders to the calendar and send out cards or make a phone call.
Plan ahead to be nice. We talked ahead of time about how easy it would be to get crabby with each other. After all, I’m frustrated to be doing all the work and he’s frustrated because, well, he can’t frickin’ walk. We talked ahead of time about how important it would be to treat each other nicely. We also talked about how we’re probably going to screw it up every once in a while. (I’m telling you, he’s trouble when he doesn’t have anybody else to zing all day!) So far, so good. By talking about our concerns and mapping the probable pitfalls ahead of time, we’ve been able to get frustrated and annoyed without taking it out on each other. At this point, it’s been pretty much a non-issue as a result.
Going on the “To Do” List: Make a list of nice things I can preemptively do for B the next time he’s stressed out.
Confidence and guts can make life simpler. I could whimper and whine about all the slack I’m having to pick up, but in the end, it would all just take longer. Things are going smoothest when I just step up to the plate and handle the issue, even if it makes me uncomfortable. As it’s played out, a certain amount of confidence comes from knowing that I can’t possibly screw things up half as badly as I imagine I can. Ah, sweet relief…
Going on the “To Do” List: Take on the next new project that comes across my desk, even if it seems like a challenge.






This post has 14 comments
September 22nd, 2008
Excellent post Sara. I am sorry to hear that your husband is not well. I hope he gets better soon.
Gosh, being a jack of all trades sure would come in handy. I wish I would have paid more attention when my dad would be fixing things around the house when I was younger. Or hovered over my mom’s shoulder while she cooked her delicious meals. Oh my regret…
Friends and family are pillars in my life also. I am so grateful to have people that I can count on. Receiving food from a family member is one of my greatest joys, hah.
About confidence: You could not be more right… Just believing in yourself and knowing that you can do something is more than half the battle.
Hang in there Sara… heck what am I saying, you sound like you are doing fine, despite the circumstances! Keep up the great posts!
- Jack Rugile
Simple Sapien
September 22nd, 2008
I really enjoyed this post although I’m sorry it had to come about because your other half’s not in the best of health. But you know what they say, nothing’s ever so bad that it isn’t good for something.
You’re so right about having basic skills. Because of my physical limitations I can’t do all of the things I’d like to do but I can still do a lot of things and try to improve my skills in those areas. Being able to cope in a crisis is so important.
September 22nd, 2008
Great post, Sara. The reminders to be kind and that it’s easier just to do what needs to be done instead of whining about it and wasting precious time are good ones.
I hope the rest of his recovery continues to go well. Treat yourself to a spa day when it’s all over.
September 22nd, 2008
People say it takes a village to raise a child, but in 2008, it takes a village to live a balanced life. I can’t imagine not having my support systems in place. Happy to hear you have a strong village supporting you too.
September 22nd, 2008
I need to work on the “village” or “friends and family” part myself. Everyone is so scattered, geographically or mentally, that it takes a tragedy (mostly death) before anyone really comes together. If something happens to any one of us, there is no backup. My partner has only three members in his *entire* family and two of them are in their 80s (his parents). My family isnt much larger.
Thank you for the reminder that we need to create our own circles/village when there isn’t one by default.
September 22nd, 2008
I agree: a support network is priceless. Glad you have that. The modern Western lifestyle doesn’t exactly encourage that.
September 22nd, 2008
Sara, it sounds like you’re doing about a million different things, and keeping your sense of humor at the same time. Good for you! I think the “agreeing to be nice to each other ahead of time” tip is good, because when times get tough tempers tend to flare. I have a lot of family here in Panama but since I didn’t grow up here I’m not really close to them (except for my parents and siblings). I really should make more of an effort to reach out to them.
September 22nd, 2008
This is a great post Sara. I especially enjoyed the part about being nice beforehand. It shows a lot of thought and concern from both of you for each other. I’m sure that this hurdle both of you are overcoming together will strengthen your relationship for the future.
Tip – you don’t want to get too good at all these new things you’re doing around the house – just good enough and long enough until hubby can take over his areas of expertise again.
September 22nd, 2008
So sorry to hear that your husband is not doing so well health-wise. It’s great that you have a strong support group of family and friends. I guess I can’t do much from here except to send both of you healing thoughts.
Do take care of yourselves!
Evelyn
September 22nd, 2008
I so appreciate the good wishes! We’re doing good, but it’s definitely not effortless. To be honest, I can’t believe I’ve gotten as much done as I have. It really has provided some momentum to my efforts to stay simple.
And I’ll be sure to hug my mother-in-law an extra time at the next get-together! She’s priceless, as are all the wonderful folks who read and comment here.
September 22nd, 2008
Skills help pay the bills and conquer life’s little challenges. I’m a fan of skilled living.
Family and friends are priceless for dealing with whatever curve calls life throws your way.
J.D. Meiers last blog post..6 Steps for Putting Your Strengths to Work
September 23rd, 2008
J.D.: I’m trying to build on the skills I’ve picked up. It’s surprisingly fun to sit back and go, “What do I want to learn today?”
September 23rd, 2008
Hi Sara,
Completely relate with you. I and my husband, both have been facing some down time since last couple of weeks. Friends and family both seem god send. I hope your husband gets well soon.
Avani-Mehtas last blog post..How To Pick Your First Anger Management Area – Anger Management Series Part IV
September 23rd, 2008
Avani: I hope everything is going okay for the two of you. You’ve got all my best wishes.
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