Handling Roadblocks on the Path to Simplicity
Common sense would tell you that the path to simplicity should be… well… simple. Right? I’m sure I’m not the only one who has found the opposite to be true. Finding simplicity can be a struggle, a challenge, and to be honest, a real pain.
Roadblocks on the path to simplicity can be anything: a person, an attitude, or a financial barrier. Some of the things that have held me back from living a quiet, simple life include: major life events (a wedding), a perfectionistic attitude, and my own desire for nice things. Your barriers may be (and probably are) wildly different, ranging from a lack of space and time to an unsupportive family, or even simple geography. We all have roadblocks, but to really get down to the core of life, we’ve got to break through them.
Stop and Breathe
Unless you’re an EMT or ER physician, you can probably spare 30 seconds to pause and take a break. Heck, why not go crazy and take five minutes? When your roadblock is being physically or mentally exhausted, stop and just breathe. Remind yourself that all you have to do in life is live, die and breathe in the meantime. More often than I’d like to admit, seemingly insurmountable roadblocks have turned out to be mere mirages when I let myself pause and refocus.
Seek Out Modifications
If you’re trying to accomplish something that seems too large to handle, consider trying a smaller solution. Break the job or issue into smaller chunks, and handle them one at a time. Even if you don’t achieve your goal, you’ll be closer. That counts for something. Or, see if you can get the similar results by doing less. For example, you might have a number of groups you volunteer with and you’re looking to cut down. Instead of giving up something you’re passionate about, can you find a more moderate way to contribute?
Ask for Help
As I continue to grow up, I’m very slowly getting better at this one. Trying to do everything yourself is one of the easiest ways to complicate your life. If you feel like you’re up against a wall, it’s time to call in for reinforcements. Sometimes even acknowledging that you need help is enough to change the situation for you.
Find Something to Be Grateful For
Gratitude is a silver bullet for frustration and resentment. If you can’t make it over that roadblock, find a way to be thankful. Whether you have your health, your family, your mind, or just your dignity, you’re doing okay. Stop and be grateful for what you’ve already accomplished and give thanks you’ve still got the power to dream.
Finally, always keep in mind the simplicity is the solution to your current problem. When the going gets tough, remember what you’re striving for. Even if your current situation is ridiculously complex, simplifying other parts of your life can get you through it. It can be tough to stay on the path to simplicity, so remind yourself when it gets hard that the journey is worth it.
What are your roadblocks? How have you gotten past them? Drop into the comments and add any tips, advice, or personal stories you have on the topic.
photo credit: patrick dentler
Similar Posts:
- Three Alternatives to Traditional Gift Giving
- Starting New Habits: Find the Path of Least Resistance
- Embracing Simple Style
- Two Questions to Ask Before Going After What You Want
- Weekly Links: Gone Swimming
This post has 18 comments
September 19th, 2008
If I get stuck, I change the question.
Changing the question, changes the focus. For example, “how can I be more resourceful?” … or “what would Bob Hope do?” … or “If I knew how to solve this, what might I do?”
What I don’t do is ask, “Why me?” …
September 19th, 2008
This post really resonates with me right now Sara. I have many extracurricular activities I’m involved in with my children. It gets exhausting. Some I want to give up. One of those is as cub scout leader. And, just last night we had our first meeting. I accepted help from someone outside to come to the meeting and help to “recruit” new parents to assist. What this did was to lessen the load I had from this one group. I left the meeting last night with a renewed sense that I’m not overwhelmed. There is still lots to do. I still want to shed more from this one activity. But I’ve taken steps in the right direction. And it directly relates to “seek out modifications” and “ask for help”. For some reason, this isn’t always easy for me, so this was a big step last night. And your post today is just another reminder on the importance of this. Thanks Sara…
September 19th, 2008
One of my roadblocks is time; time to declutter and simplify my living space. I got past this issue by hiring a professional organizer. This forced me to find the time. I only hired her for a few hours but it helped me see the light. Just this morning, I carried 10 boxes of declutterng donations down 3 flights of steps. Someone will soon pick these boxes up and get the objects out of my life.
September 19th, 2008
Sorry that this is so long!
One of my biggest successes became one of my biggest road blocks. My first job out of college was a decent job and I had a decent boss. My coworkers on the other hand were rather awful. My closest friend was over 100 miles away and my coworkers were around my age, I bonded with them and we became friends, at first. They were completely stuff obsessed.
It was only a few months before I felt completely compelled to never wear the same outfit twice. I was shopping every weekend (and so were they). They were always with new cars, new clothes, new something every week. They were also extremely concerned with my love life and they put the pressure on high for me to have a boyfriend. I eventually complied and had the worst relationship I’ve ever had. I also amassed more credit card debt than imaginable on stupid stuff.
As time went on, it turned out that I was a good worker, and they were not. I hardly even noticed because I was busier worrying that they thought I should have been engaged already, they thought I should be more mature, they thought I should be doing all sorts of things because in their eyes I was completely inadequate in everything they thought was important.
Everything imploded/exploded roughly 2 years after I started. My boyfriend and I had a horrific breakup. My boss decided to present me with the opportunity to work on an MD PhD. (I worked at medical college), which was THE opportunity all my coworkers were desperate to get. While this was a great opportunity, my coworkers turned on me. They did so many immature things it was worse than middle school.
After 2 months it became unbearable. Against everyone’s better judgment I quit my job packed one suitcase and went to spend 2 weeks in Finland where my best friend from childhood had relocated. I ended up changing my plane ticket and spent closer to two months in Finland.
My best friend lived in a tiny apartment on a small salary (and no credit card to buy more than she earned) and she was already big into the sustainability movement. We had two dishes. We drank out of old pickle jars. I wore the same jeans and sweaters over and over again. No one noticed! No one cared! There were only two TV channels, so we almost never watched TV. Instead we went out every day and met people. It was easily the happiest time in my life.
When I got home I realized that I had lived out of one suitcase and that I didn’t miss all the stuff I had and that my coworkers were wrong about what was important in (my) life. My old boss called and asked me back, twice. But in the end I found a better job and a place that I am much happier with. It’s been five years and I still wear the same pants a couple days in a row just to see if anyone notices (they don’t!). My coworkers respect me and I’ve been able to wonders with fixing my debt. I find myself in pharmacies and I look at some novelty item and still realized that a few years ago I would have had to have it. Now I look at it and see it as just stuff that I don’t need.
I wouldn’t always recommend quitting your job and going to a foreign country. I did it because I felt so trapped in my situation. I felt so down that I felt that it was either throw myself in front of a bus (yes I did feel that bad at the time) or just leave everything familiar behind. I went somewhere where I knew I would have support. I just felt that it was the right thing to do for me. It was so awful but I just decided to stick to what was important to me and not give up. I never expected to end up in a better situation. I never thought I would want to thank my former coworkers for forcing me out of a situation I was actually really unhappy with.
September 19th, 2008
I’ve never been much of a hoarder, but things do accumulate. It has only been in the last year that I’ve made a serious effort to declutter. For me the road block was inertia. Things weren’t that bad, so making the effort did not seem worthwhile. But, as I have reduced excess stuff I’ve become more relaxed and contented.
Time is an area I am still working on. With the job, family, house, cycling etc. Never seems to be enough time. Fortunately, I have mostly avoided debt and have invested, I can take early retirement in a couple of months which will free up lots of time! Things will be tighter than planned(thanks Wall Street), but thanks to sites like this that promote frugal and simple life, I will manage.
@Karolin. Glad you were able to break out of a bad situation. A radical change like that isn’t easy, but sometimes that is what it takes. Glad it is working out for you.
September 19th, 2008
@ Karolin – your story is a long story but it is a great story. Thanks for sharing with us and giving us an example of the transition from complexity to simplicity and the happiness it brings.
“accomplish something that seems too large to handle” struck a chord with me. My roadblock is summoning up the resources and finding the catalyst to start and get through the initial stages of a project so I’ll have the motivation and momentum to finish it. The project I’m thinking of is my clutter. It’s not junk and it’s all pretty well organized but it’s stuff I’ve accumulated over the years and I’m not using. It’s a huge task so I’ve got to break it down into small parts and realize that closer does stand for something as you say above. I’ve got to go through my clutter that I’ve accumulated over the years, put it into the keep, sell, give away, or throw away piles, and then act accordingly. I’m overwhelmed just thinking about it!
September 19th, 2008
Hi Sara, like many other people I’ve suffered Road Blocks in many areas of my life. Sometimes I’ve just blasted through them, sometimes I’ve taken the long route and gone round them, and other times I’ve just sat on my backside in the middle of the road and felt sorry for myself. In fact the last option used to be the most frequently selected option.
Like you, I’ve found asking for help quite difficult. It’s something I’m getting better at.
Your advice is great. I know that if I can adopt it, it will make life so much easier. I’ll keep at it, and I’ll eventually get there.
Thanks
Dave
September 20th, 2008
I think *life* itself gets in the way of me being able to simplify and live a simple life. I’m turning 30 in a couple of months and life has been one huge disappointment after another over the past ten years (significant job loss, divorce, abusive relationship, loss of a baby, health issues) I have not had time to think about being “simple”.
One thing that’s helping me now is decluttering. It sounds like its not a big deal, but I do really need that book about Windows “95 taking up room on my shelf? Or the things I use maybe only weekly or monthly laying around? What about getting paper bills and statements. Maybe having online bill pay is better than drowning in paper. Being able to store files I dont need to see all the time (taxes, etc) out of my living area. Its the little things that helps my mind stay clear to focus on more important things or at least take a deep breath.
September 20th, 2008
I don’t like to accumulate stuff or clutter. Unfortunately, my husband does. I’d prefer things to be as simple as possible. I also tend to clear out things that I have not been using. My husband finds it hard to; he claims that he has developed an attachment to some of the things he hold dear even though he is not using them. Sigh….
September 20th, 2008
Live life SIMPLY!
September 20th, 2008
I’ve been working on breaking my larger tasks into smaller ones. It’s not easy. The need to simplify doesn’t come natural.
I need to learn to seek modifications, allowing myself to be creative and come at the big job with a fresh angle.
I know that I’m trying my hardest, but not my best. Do you have any suggestions of modifications. I’m working on an ebook and I keep putting it off. What do you do in such a case or something similar?
September 20th, 2008
Sara, this is worth repeating!!!
“Gratitude is a silver bullet for frustration and resentment. If you can’t make it over that roadblock, find a way to be thankful. Whether you have your health, your family, your mind, or just your dignity, you’re doing okay. Stop and be grateful for what you’ve already accomplished and give thanks you’ve still got the power to dream.”
Beautiful! Thanks.
September 21st, 2008
My boss always talks about “eating the elephant”.
Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. A little at a time.
September 22nd, 2008
I’ve found that the best catalyst to decluttering, is to move. Nothing is more motivating to getting rid of junk than the prospect of hauling to your new place and finding space to put it.
September 22nd, 2008
Wow! This set of comments is amazing! Everyone’s stories just bring the point home to me: I’d better practice what I preach, because there are bigger and badder roadblocks out there than what I’ve faced. The next time I’m feeling discouraged, I’ll be returning to this comment thread to be inspired by each of these stories. (And to remember about the elephant…)
September 22nd, 2008
Living life means having roadblocks in life and it causes sufferings and these sufferings makes us weak and we breakdown. But have we ever realized that these roadblocks are our creations – knowingly or unknowingly! When we live in awareness we can minimize having roadblocks in our lives. I have undergone through these roadblocks in my life several times and this is what I have learned to ease them out:
1. Get out of the situation and view it from the top – one will surely find a solution!
2. Re-frame the situation – like in a picture frame! Surely one will see a new window of hope opening.
3. Patiently seek the guidance from Almighty – 100% one will get it!
4. As Sara says, ask for help. (This has always helped me and I could get wise counseling! )
September 23rd, 2008
Well put, Sara.
My barrier these days is my job. I unfortunately have been jumping around from minimum wage jobs the last few years and am burnt out on it. It is so hard to live on minimum wage.
I am trying to remedy the situation by finding something I am passionate about that I can turn into a career. It is hard without college though.
Overcoming these challenges is what makes life so gosh darn interesting.
- Jack Rugile
Simple Sapien
Simple Sapiens last blog post..80 Ways To Simplify Your Life
September 23rd, 2008
Vinay: Wonderful additions! I do like the idea of reframing the problem. Is it even an issue if you look at it from another angle?
Simple Sapien: I like the idea that challenges make life interesting. I hope you find what you’re looking for!
Trackbacks
Add a comment