Three Things You Wish You’d Known at 20
While there’s little point in having regrets, I think we all wish we’d been a bit wiser when we were young–at least in one or two ways. So this week I’d like to hear three things you wish you’d known when you were 20.
Here are mine:
1. Focusing on your school work will pay off (literally). But it’s also okay to blow off a few more afternoons and have some fun.
2. Don’t worry about guys. You met the right person years ago; you just don’t realize it yet.
3. You will change over and over again. Don’t worry about figuring out who you are just yet. Oh, and buy Google when it goes public. 
What do you wish you knew at age 20? Or, what are you glad you didn’t know? I’d love to hear about your experience, so drop into the comments and leave a response!
Similar Posts:
- What Could You Accomplish If You Truly Freed Yourself?
- Three Things You’d Save in an Emergency
- The Only Three Things You’d Want on a Desert Island
- Your Three Most Memorable Moments of 2008
- Three Traits You’d Want People to Remember You By
This post has 45 comments
August 22nd, 2008
Well, I’m still in my 20s, so there hasn’t been a whole lot of time for reflection yet. But, here are three key things that I would like to tell my 20-year-old self.
Self,
1. Guess what - You do, eventually, need to pay off those credit cards.
2. Speeding isn’t worth that extra 5-10 minutes, and that accident that happens when you’re 21 could have gone a LOT worse.
3. There isn’t anything wrong with the world. What is wrong is your perception of it.
August 22nd, 2008
Still feel like I have so much to learn and I’m still wrassling with so many of the same questions/issues that I was when I was 20, but here it goes:
1. You are of above average intelligence and can do amazing things when you put your mind to it. Don’t ever give up or stop believing.
2. When you do things for yourself rather than for other people, you will be a lot happier. A LOT.
3. Creating art is deeply connected to feeling happier, focus on the process, not the product.
Oh, and if you feel a stress fracture in your foot, let it heal completely!!! You will learn a lot if you don’t, but it will be an incredibly hellish and depressing learning experience.
On another topic, things that you wish your future self has learned and can pass on to you right now?
August 22nd, 2008
Hi!
Just came accross this site and like what I see
Here are mine (as I’m such an old and wise 29 year old thesedays LOL):
1 - You’re not a failure if you don’t fall into an exciting career you love right away, it’s actually ok to take a job you just about like and find things to love about it to make it more enjoyable, just realise any job can be a stepping stone towards your longer term goals if you have the right mindset (also read some Tich Nhat Hanh and find out why simple tasks are as meaningful as you wish to make them!).
2 - You can clean your house in 3 hours or in 30 minutes, but visitors probably won’t know the difference* (*unless they look under your bed!)
3 - There are more learning opportunities in the mundane moments of everyday life than any academic instution in the world can provide (you just won’t get a fancy piece of paper to prove that you’ve learned something). Oh, and start a personal development blog, they’re going to be a big thing in several years…
I guess the theme of mine is that I spent too much time in my early twenties worrying that I wasn’t more academically qualified, or that I didn’t have a great career, instead of just enjoying life and appreciating what I had (which is what I try to do now!).
August 22nd, 2008
I really wish I would have moved out on my own for a while…I would have like to have known what it was like to take care of myself, I think it’s a big confidence booster!
August 22nd, 2008
These would be the three most important, right?
I say that because I can come up with more than three things fairly easily.
As you say, no regrets, because that’s our life long development process - getting to know who we are and making adjustments as time goes on to feel more comfortable with ourselves and the people around us.
In no particular order -
1. Own and work with less material ’stuff’(simplify) to have more time and money available for life’s experiences and the people in your life. I’ll always be working on this one!
2. Don’t compare yourself to others to gauge your own happiness or success. It just doesn’t work. We all look and do the comparisons which is fine. However they shouldn’t be used as some sort of measurement to make a determination. Each of us is as unique as our own fingerprints or a snowflake and the amount and type of experiences to make us happy or successful is just as unique. You’ll know when you’re happy or successful and the criteria and effort to make them a reality will change with time.
3. It’s OK to be less than perfect or fail for that matter. We are human so enjoy the learning process at the speed and extent to which you are capable. Also accept the fact that some people are more talented in certain areas and celebrate it with them. It’s fun to watch yourself and other people grow with time.
August 22nd, 2008
This is a fun post, Sara, yet thought provoking too.
I wish I’d known:
1. how caring about what others think about you does you no good at all
2. that good health is a wonderful gift and should be relished
3. it’s better to make a mistake while doing something you want rather than not having the nerve to try
August 22nd, 2008
I just want to say again, I love your lists!
1. School is important, but not quite as important as real-world experience …
2. Life is all about having fun! Don’t get too irritated by the small frustrations you can’t change; learn from them and move on.
3. Trying and failing is more valuable in the long run than not trying as to avoid failure.
August 22nd, 2008
I’m still in my 20’s but at the age of 20 I wish I had known:
1. Marriage is not important.
2. Do not do things for others and forget about yourself.
3. Follow your heart, life is much less frustrating when you do.
Great list to think about! Have a great weekend!
August 22nd, 2008
What a great idea! I actually got a lot of things right in my 20s (maybe need to focus on what my 20-y-o self would tell me NOW), but:
1. You’ll meet a lot of wonderful people in the coming years’ journeys. Work extra hard to stay in touch with the people you care about. It’s amazingly easy to lose them once you’ve moved on.
2. If you insist on taking out $100,000 in law-school debt, at least stay at a firm long enough to pay it back. You’ll have so many more options without that massive financial burden.
3. Disability insurance. You’ll need it.
August 22nd, 2008
Hi Sara - These are great tips - love the one about the Google stock. I wish we left school in the UK as soon as you do in America - I’m sure I’d have had at least a little more sense by then.
I wrote a post on 20 Things I Wish I Knew About Business When I was 20 - last year. And here’s three of mine:
1) It Isn’t A Race - You need patience; anything worthwhile takes tie.
2) Don’t Let Others Do Your Thinking For You: Don’t allow the media to influence your beliefs. Do your own research and make up your own mind on important issues.
3) Enjoy The Journey: You may have huge goals but the journey towards them is the important part. As soon as you realise this, you’ll enjoy your work far more.
August 22nd, 2008
Hi Sara,
What a good idea.
1) Always, always, always tell the people you love that you love them. (Never assume they’ll be around forever)
2) Ditto to Scott’s - Quit worrying about what others think of you - they really don’t think of you as much as you think they do.
3) Learn how to say “No”, otherwise you risk being a doormat.
August 22nd, 2008
Wow, everyone has such wisdom in there list of three.
For me:
1. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
2. Get involved in what matters to you.
3. Don’t do something (career) for the money, do it because you love it.
August 22nd, 2008
Things I would tell my 20 year old self:
1. You’re more than a number on a scale.
2. Debt sucks
3. Stop living to impress others. Just be you.
August 22nd, 2008
My 3 thigns?
1) Don’t stop working out.
2) As soon as you get a full-time job, get a house
3) Take your own advice and buy Google stock when they go public
August 22nd, 2008
As always, mine has to do with PERFECTION.
Young Vered: do not, under any circumstances, attempt to be perfect or have complete control. Life just doesn’t work out this way.
August 23rd, 2008
1) Your health will always be the most important thing you have - take care of yourself now.
2) Quit rushing - we will all get there sooner or later.
3) Although this is pretty blunt, a lot of people you love will die in the coming years - celebrate your time with them.
August 23rd, 2008
I’m still in my 20’s but I think when I turned the big 2-0..I would have loved to know…
1. Realize that you are you and those who love you will continue to do so no matter what.
2. Friendships can take more than their fair share of bumps along the road and more often than not will come back to you if you give them time.
3. You can’t realize how your life will change if you just take some chances in life.
August 23rd, 2008
The three things I wish I’d known when I was 20.
I wish I’d known that being a single mom is not a sentence of a horrible life for your kid, I would not have worried so much and we would’ve had more fun.
I wish I’d known that my time was short with some of my family members and I would’ve cherished that time and made more of it for them.
I wish I’d known that money goes no matter how you try to pinch it, so making it a tool to create a future with instead of a necessity for today’s life can make all the difference in your management of it and ultimately how much fun you allow yourself to have with it.
August 23rd, 2008
1. you don’t have to be exceptionally thin or well dressed to be exceptionally loved.
2. things are going to turn out ok.
3. most of what you seem to think is your responsibility is actually not.
4. buy google when it goes public
August 23rd, 2008
1. Go to school. Being uneducated and broke sucks.
2. Reach out to others.
3. PAY ATTENTION when the life insurance/mutual funds rep tries to educate you on the importance of retirement savings. You WILL be there some day.
August 24th, 2008
Here are mine:
1. Marriage and men are not everything.
2. Life is a journey.
3. Find your passion and have fun!
August 24th, 2008
Here are mine:
1. That children really do grow up quickly
2. If you give up excercise your bum will get bigger!
3. To start a pension plan
August 24th, 2008
Mine have something to do with money and teeth…
1. Start saving for retirement (compound interests)
2. Keep your teeth perfect and you’ll save money and agony
3. Do not collect anything - it is pointless, un-frugal and a clutter (I am still selling off stuff I have collected)
I think that these apply to most people.
August 24th, 2008
I wish I had realized how amazing I really was (am) and how much could be achieved. I wish I’d started to be proactive and get stuff done at a younger age. Saved more, invested more, started a business, take more risks.
Youth, as they say, is wasted on the young.
But it’s never too late!
August 25th, 2008
1. Mom was wrong. Boys DO like smart girls. You don’t have to hide your intelligence.
2.Don’t try so hard. The things you should be doing will come naturally to you- if you have to force it, you’ve picked the wrong things.
3. Save at least half of every raise- you were already living on that smaller amount anyhow. Spend less than you make and invest the difference- it will open up worlds of choices for you when you’re in your 40’s and beyond. (I didn’t get this one until my late 20’s.)
August 25th, 2008
I just turned twenty a few months ago, and reading through this article and all of the comments I feel I’ve learned quite a bit. Thanks for great advice ^_^
August 25th, 2008
I love these responses! Some made me go “Oh yeah! Boy, did I ever learn that one the hard way!” and others made me realize I still have a lot to learn. (I should definitely be appreciating the folks I love while they’re here.)
I very much hope that quite a few people will read your answers and learn something. I know we’ll continue learning until we’re gone, but we can hope to decrease our regrets–even if we still constantly make mistakes.
As you may have read, I’m a busy, stressed woman right now. I am utterly blown away that the readers of this blog take their time to offer such funny and dead-on advice. You make this blog rock–thanks!
August 26th, 2008
I am still in my 20s but…
1. You can do accomplish what you set out to, but it usually takes some patience & a plan.
2. Put off marriage regardless of how long you have been together. You have a lot of life left to live & there may come a point very soon when you just want to be responsible for yourself & be young (even if you do love him/her).
August 26th, 2008
Natalie: I’m still young, too. I think a lot gets learned (or unlearned) in that 20 to 25 transition period. And I like that you mention a plan–you’re ready to take on the world!
August 27th, 2008
Apart from the obvious “be true to yourself”, love your friends and family, work hard and be honest, I’d add:
1. Save at least 10% of your income.
2. Buy real estate as soon as you can possibly afford it.
3. Don’t smoke, over-eat, under-exercise, do drugs, drink to excess or have risky sex; all of them will pay you back in masses of negative effects just when you’ve got it made financially, personally and professionally.
August 27th, 2008
Here’s my three from the perspective of 35 years of looking back:
1) Don’t feel guilty for coming home alive and well, when all the friends you left with return in body bags. Comfort their loved ones, and realize that the ones who wish you had died instead, are expressing almost unbearable pain.
2) Gut it out through all the harassment, ridicule, disrespect and other trauma of being a geek with Asperger Syndrome. You’ll get lots of schadenfreude later.
3) Hang tough with the idea that there are women who will be attracted to you as you are and one of them will choose you to be their spouse. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but it will happen.
August 28th, 2008
Nicola: Sounds like you’ve got all the basics covered at this point in your life. I need to take your advice on under-exercising before I turn into a log.
Jrandom42: I’m glad to hear about the schadenfreude.
Even though you’re coming from 35 years of experience, I think your advice is pretty damn relevant to twenty-somethings today.
August 31st, 2008
1. All we’ve got is today
2. Exercise and good eating are things to start young and keep for life
3. Focus on meeting new people and reading good books
August 31st, 2008
Chris: I really love these. I like that you pointed out reading. I would hate to wake up decades later and realize how many good books I could have read.
August 31st, 2008
Another great topic…here are my three things:
1. Compounding and the benefit of investing for the long term. I should have invested in some IPO’s (ebay, google etc) and reinvested dividends. I would have been a lot better off today!
2. Read/Learn more. I was so focused on finishing my degree that I didn’t really focus on learning more about other areas and to read more widely, other then text books.
3. Learn a new language. Should have done this in my 20’s with Spanish and then take a 3 month trip to South America.
September 1st, 2008
Andy: Ooh, learning a new language is good one! I wish I could go back and continue studying Spanish where I left off. But at least that’s something we can start at any age. There’s hope for your South America trip yet!
September 2nd, 2008
Love this topic, here’s mine:
1. Travel anywhere and everywhere, it’s the best experience you can have.
2. Don’t get a credit card….EVER!!
3. You are thin and you do look beautiful. You won’t look the same at 35
September 2nd, 2008
1. It will never again be as easy to get in shape as it is now. Take advantage of a fast-er metabolism and a bit more free time. Start good fitness habits.
2. Moisturize and stay the hell out of the sun. For real. Sun damage does -not- go away. Evars!
3. Keep up with your music, your art, your foreign language studies. Even if you’re not super at them. It’s too easy to let them go. You’ll miss them. It’s a great way to relax and unwind, someday.
4. Do not buy so much crap. Honestly. You’ll never use all of that super expensive gallon of hair stuff and you’ll never see that $50 back. And that goes double for all of the other nonsense you bought.
5. Cheap clothes are exactly that. Old Navy is just fine for a pair of flip flops or seasonal t-shirts. But you should invest instead in a few pair of good classics. Take good care of them and they’ll never go out of style. (Also, it’s eco friendly to not buy/toss crap… not that you knew what eco friendly meant when you were 20).
6. Travel. It’s awesome to share the world with your children, but it’s not as easy to get around with toddlers in tow. Travel before and you can explore freely and then bring your family to the best parts later!
7. Train yourself to hate junk food and colas. Opt instead to indulge in really fine desserts on a really rare occasion. Instead of a Twix with lunch, savor a square of Belgium dark chocolate once a week. Your ass will thank you.
8. Take care of your feet. Exfoliate elbows, too. Learn how to give yourself simple, polish-free, mani/pedi’s. You maintain your car (hopefully). Maintain your body as well.
September 2nd, 2008
Jasi: Thank you so much for taking the time to write such an awesome response. I would never think to take care of my feet, so I’m going to take your advice on that one for certain. I like that a lot of your ideas are about building for the future and creating healthy habits. Love it!
September 3rd, 2008
Liz: I missed your comment; it was caught in the spam filter for who knows what reason… I enjoyed your ideas, and I definitely would’ve been better off if I’d followed your advice!
September 8th, 2008
Another great topic…
Here are the three things I would tell to my 20-year old self…
1. Start your dancing lessons now! You will love it!
2. (as Liz said) Don’t get a credit card! Don’t even think about it.
3. Stop living for others. Live for yourself, learn yourself, love yourself.
September 8th, 2008
Mary Lou: Dancing lessons! That’s something I’ve always been interested in, but never done. I think deep down, I’m saving it for my elder years. Perhaps I should rethink that, and go for it now…
September 15th, 2008
1. Don’t try to do everything for everyone. Eventually you will have a job where people will let you do everything - it sucks and you still won’t be fulfilled.
2. Always believe in yourself you can accomplish more than you ever dreamed.
3. Save money for traveling it is one of the most amazing ways to spend your time.
September 15th, 2008
Lynda: I love your first item. I’m slowly learning this one–that another person’s complete happiness can never be my responsibility. I hadn’t considered how that might affect the workplace, so thanks for adding your thoughts!
January 21st, 2009
As a 20-year-old, I appreciate the advice from many of you. I am doing some of these things already and have plans to implement much of this advice.
Liz and Mary Lou mentioned not getting a credit card. I strongly disagree with this advice, assuming that you’re able to show some spending restraint. Living frugally and buying only what you need are much better lessons to learn. Responsibly using a credit and paying-off the balance each month can be extremely beneficial in building a solid credit history. Doing so can actually save money by earning rewards and getting better rates on loans and mortgages. So, the root evil here is the lack of personal spending restraint, not the ability to make purchases on credit.
Trackbacks
Add a comment