Simply Humiliating: Diverting Social Disaster
My husband tells the story so well.
“I head into the bathroom. The stall door is unlocked, so I walk in and what do I see? There he is, hand between his legs, handling his business, looking as shocked and mortified as a nun caught in the Playboy Mansion.”
Fortunately, the story’s about a cocky fellow who got taken down a peg because he failed to lock the door on a public restroom. Classic!
Embrace the Inevitable
After hearing how this poor guy was so embarrassed for days by the impromptu bathroom social, I made a decision. The next time something potentially mortifying happens, I’m going to embrace it. After all, it’s hard to make fun of someone who isn’t embarrassed.
Events are only humiliating if we deem them so. If you skulk around with your eyes downcast, you’re giving off clear signals that you are ashamed. What’s worse is that you aren’t just conveying that message to everyone around you; you’re telling it to yourself. It’s a perfect recipe for long-lasting humiliation and unnecessary personal suffering.
Remember that time you face-planted in the middle school cafeteria? Well, no one else does, so stop being embarrassed and let it go.
Seat’s Taken: Plan for the Moment
The next time something mortifying occurs, I’m rolling with it. Someone walks in on me in the bathroom? They’re getting a smile and a wave. Trip and fall in a public place? So what? Laugh about it, and if necessary, take a bow.
So think about it. How will you react the next time something embarrassing happens? Will you clam up and radiate shamefulness? Or will you take life’s quirks for what they are and keep smiling?
Either way, one lesson is clear: lock the bathroom stall next time, will you?
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This post has 15 comments
August 19th, 2008
That is a pretty funny story! I have to say that during my most embarrassing moment to date…because I am sure another one will come along sometime…I was able to roll with it and act mortified in the privacy of my own car afterward.
On to that embarrassing moment…I was in 9th grade…after basketball practice we were going to watch film in my coaches classroom but had to pick everything up in the gym because the boys were having practice after us. I went to grab the first-aid kit off of the sidelines and as I ran by and grabbed it…it spilled EVERYWHERE…the lid wasn’t closed! Needless to say ALL of the guys were out warming up and saw it happen…they laughed…but their coach was my history teacher and he made them pick up all the stuff that fell out for laughing at me.
August 19th, 2008
Okay, that’s hilarious!
My bathroom stall moment is one I have laughed about from the moment it happened to me.
My daughter was about 18 months old and went into the stall with me. While I was doing what I needed to do, she crawled under the door and escaped into the bathroom with no door to the main part so I had to go after her - with my pants at my knees.
Fun times! I embarrassed a few others that day but not myself. I still laugh about it. At least I have my daughter to blame so it makes for a funny kid story and takes the attention off me
August 19th, 2008
“Will you clam up and radiate shamefulness?”
Afraid so.
You have a wonderful attitude and I wish I could do the same, but I’m pretty sure that if something embarrassing happens, my embarrassment and mortification will be QUITE obvious.
Love this post!
August 19th, 2008
You’ve been caught, the best thing you can do is take a moment, think of the one thing you can do that will not add to your embarrassment (spin the event in your favor) One good way is to take ownership and ACT like it did not matter. Now must people will not be able to think of something fast enough, but you have to keep in mind that the person that walked in on you or whatever, is just as mortified as you are.
-Tabs
August 19th, 2008
Embarrassed has been replaced with the knowledge that I just did something incredibly dumb or an ‘accident’ has occurred which I like to think is due to a perfect storm of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events preceding it. It’s really no big deal because it has been done before and will be repeated by countless other people. As you say it’s easier to just get over yourself and carry on. Welcome to the human race!
August 19th, 2008
I love the story! And that’s a great attitude to have when we have potentially embarrassing moments. We may remember them, but others probably won’t (well, unless they love you…or so it goes in my house!).
August 19th, 2008
The story is hilarious. I probably make more fun of myself than others do. Hence I rarely have embarassing stories, I do have funny goof up stories to share.
August 19th, 2008
I turn beet red at the simplest embarassing moment and quite plainly I’m really good at forgetting them too. I can’t remember any, other than noticing that my fly has been undone.
August 20th, 2008
How mortifying indeed, Sara!
I most definitely have found myself either doing or saying embarrassing things- or in totally blush-inducing situations.
It is hard not to be devastated by feeling publicly humiliated.
However, it’s good to remember that everyone who is an onlooker to your moment of misfortune is actually just so glad it’s not them!
I find that if I turn an awkward situation into a laughing point, my embarrassment quickly disappears
August 20th, 2008
I used to get incredibly mortified by embarrassing situations, but now I just brush them off. I guess I discovered that people are so busy thinking about themselves that two minutes after an event involving someone else is over, they already stopped thinking about it and started thinking about themselves again.
August 20th, 2008
Great lesson…I laugh at myself all the time…I find that it’s exactly like you said…you can’t make fun of someone who isn’t embarrassed…so I just laugh away..
August 20th, 2008
What an important lesson here!! I’ve learned to laugh at myself more compared to previously and still learning!
August 20th, 2008
I still have trouble laughing at myself. I think the inability to laugh at ourselves comes from wanting to be perfect, and we are embarrassed that we aren’t perfect. It is a good goal to learn to laugh at yourself. Some of the most fun people to be around are the ones that can have fun all the time. You ruin your mood if you can’t laugh at yourself.
August 20th, 2008
Thanks so much for the responses! I almost didn’t post this, since it seemed like tempting fate, but that would negate the whole point, right?
Here’s to embracing our flaws, life’s quirks, and the often amusing space where the two meet.
August 22nd, 2008
trip and fall down, and sprain your wrist, bruise your chin, throw your jaw off so you can’t close your teeth tightly…THEN smile and wave and take a bow.
but it took two days for me to be able to do that.
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