Three Things You’ve Given Up and Never Regretted
Simplicity is about abundance and enjoying life’s rewards, but if we’re completely honest, it’s also about giving things up. Sometimes we give things up, only to regret it later. Most of the time, we hardly remember ever having them at all. This weekend, I want to hear from you. What are three things you’ve given up and never regretted?
Here’s mine:
- Nail polish
- Magazine subscriptions
- The thought of changing my husband
So, let’s hear it! What have you given up in the name of simplicity? Leap into the comments and let us all know!
July 11th, 2008 at 3:29 am
- Fear
- Anger
- Pride
You didn’t say they had to be physical things. And giving up these elements has made my life infinitely simpler.
July 11th, 2008 at 6:30 am
Well this made me really think Sara! Poor memory maybe, or — maybe once it’s gone I’ve “really” forgotten about it!
So, here they are:
1. Soda ( I used to drink everyday, now I’ll only occassionally have some when I’m out, I never buy any and have at home for myself).
2. 12 hour workdays. When I was younger, I would regularly work a very long day. Now, I much more enjoy spending time with my family.
3. Driving to work everyday (this one’s a stretch). I bike whenever I can, and don’t miss driving a car at all. However, I still do when the weather is not conducive to biking. And we have our fair share on bad weather here in Wisconsin.
Jarrod - I like your list as well, those are great things to give up!
July 11th, 2008 at 6:30 am
1. conformity
2. worry of what others think
3. my first husband
July 11th, 2008 at 7:12 am
Great lists so far - I wish I was able to give up fear, anger, pride, and worrying about what others think.
My three are:
1. MSN Messenger
2. School at 16
3. Getting up late every day
July 11th, 2008 at 7:40 am
@Jerrod: Perfect way to kick this off! I love it!
@Lance: I’m impressed that you don’t even miss the car. That’s inspiring to hear!
@Cheryl: Your #3 made me giggle! I still work hard to let go of what others think. I don’t think I’ll ever miss it, though.
@David: I did the Dance of Joy when I was able to keep MSN Messenger turned off (it was needed for a previous job). I was to the point where I was hearing the “ding” in my sleep, in the shower, everywhere. (Shiver.) I’m intrigued about your #2. What did you do afterwards and how did it work out (I’m assuming it turned out well for you)?
July 11th, 2008 at 8:03 am
What a great topic!
1. Toxic friends.
2. Perfectionism.
3. Fast food.
July 11th, 2008 at 9:01 am
- Toxic relationships
- Living my life for other people
- Not preparing for the future
July 11th, 2008 at 9:11 am
I’m going to say:
1. 10 pounds (which I hope I never gain back)
2. my fear of the dark
3. about half of the things in my closet
July 11th, 2008 at 10:36 am
@Vered: Ooh perfectionism! That’s a great one that I’m still working on.
@Katie: I love “not preparing for the future.” I never would’ve thought of it, but that’s gotta be life-changing to let go of.
@Marelisa: “Half the things in my closet”–Isn’t it funny how easy all that hard-won stuff is to get rid of and never miss? I’ve gotten rid of a ton of clothes and once they’re gone, I almost never want them back.
July 11th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Great topic. I wish I was as elevated as some of your readers and could say something like ‘negative thoughts’ - but alas, I am not yet that evolved.
Here are mine:
1. Golf (too expensive for something I didn’t like and wasn’t good at)
2. The candy jar on my desk (I removed it because I couldn’t keep my own hands out of it)
3. All of the clothes that I wore in college that I thought I could get back into if I just lost a little weight. Having them around wasn’t motivating - they just made me feel bad about not having my 18-year-old body anymore.
July 11th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
1. Trying to attract people to my blog.
2. Wearing heels
3. Things I cannot control
Excellent, engaging topic!
Have a great weekend everyone!
July 11th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Hi Sara,
What a great idea for a post.
Here’s mine:
1) Diet Pepsi - The doctor said I had to give it up as it gave me heart palpations - I don’t miss it.
2) Worrying about what decisions others are making, as I know I can’t control that anyway. (Unless it’s a REALLY choice- then I’ll step in)
3) Buying magazines - They were cluttering up the house and I’m on a bit “live simple” kick right now.
July 11th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
~ Most of my wardrobe (why did I ever need half a dozen cocktail dresses?)
~ Buying magazines
~ Buying cheap stuff that’s probably been manufactured in sweat shops by less fortunate people in financially poorer parts of the world.
July 11th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
@Heidi: Candy bowls are also too tempting for me. I’m not ready to give up on golf yet, though.
@Tiffany: I thought, “Oh no! She’s giving up!” when I read your #1, but then I clicked through to your current post and get where you’re coming from. It takes time to build, so it’s important to enjoy it in the meantime.
@Barbara: I love the Diet Pepsi. I just drink it very sparingly. Your #2 is awesome. I’ll get there someday, but it’s hard to disconnect yourself from your loved ones. It would certainly save a bit of worthless stress on my end!
@Sharon J: I hear you on the cheap stuff. I used to love to go crazy at the dollar store because it felt so indulgent. Now all that stuff I bought seems like junk that took some unnecessary resources to create.
July 11th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Cigs
The Nightly news
Trying to reason with racists
July 11th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
1. Like you, nail polish. I used to buy it, and nail polish remover, tell myself I was going to be a Real Girl and paint my nails. Invariably the polish would congeal and become unusable, and the remover would become redundant. Now I just admit that I am not the nail polish type of gal.
2. worrying about what other people think of me. There are people who will like me and people who won’t, period end of discussion. Boy was that ever a freeing revelation!
3. 20 pounds. Actually, I lost 220 lbs. 20 pounds of me, and 200 lbs of man. The 20 pounds of me have stayed off for almost 2 years now. I gained back 170 lbs of man, but I am getting way more value per pound out of this one *grin*
July 11th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Love the topic! You’re giving us a chance to celebrate giving up what no longer serves us.
OK….mine are:
1. Soda pop - one of the smartest things I’ve ever done.
2. Toxic people
3. Uncomfortable shoes
Harmony,
Janet
July 11th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
wow, i thought this would be an easy one but i really can’t think of 3, is that bad? either i have major A.D.D. right now, or i don’t give up anything
1) Soda during the week - as others, i only allow on weekends and holidays (diet coke is my addiction)
2) Drunken debauchery? i only get drunk by accident now, and perhaps once every few months rather than twice a week (college).
3) Making out w/ girls? this is not by accident, as i just married a beautiful young lady last month. opah!
July 12th, 2008 at 9:24 am
1. Half of my worries. I feel so light and free nowadays! But I can’t say that I’m fully enlightened yet!
2. Branded clothes and bags. Okay…I got to admit I used to “reward” myself with stuff from Gucci and Prada. Not anymore! I prefer now to spend money on workshops, books and spiritual healing sessions.
3. Toxic relationships. Boy…am I glad that I did not end up with any of my ex-boyfriends! It is also quite a relief that I did not hang on to any of my supportive and negative friends in the past!
Love this exercise! It sure got me thinking!
Thanks,
Evelyn
July 12th, 2008 at 11:02 am
@Tom: “Trying to reason with racists.” It can be so hard to reconcile our ideals with our desire not to beat our heads bloody against a brick wall.
@Urban Panther: You crack me up! Glad to hear your value per pound is on the rise.
@Janet: Good for you on the uncomfortable shoes. I should just write them off, but why give up the subtle joys of blisters and calluses?
@J Money: Congratulations! Loved your list.
@Evelyn: Sounds like letting go is working wonderfully for you! I liked your perspective on branded items. I wore two branded things yesterday and felt like a walking billboard. Isn’t it funny our quickly our perspective on status can change?
July 12th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
1. Bottled water - pretty much a waste of money so I just drink good old tap water now.
2. High fructose corn syrup - ok it is hard to cut it out 100% but I think I am at about 90% now.
3. Friends who really are not friends - you know the people who you always take time for but they never take time for you.
July 12th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
1. TV for myself and my children (reading is so much more rewarding)
2. Things I no longer use or like (wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, grandmother’s set of china, etc. - I’ve learned that even if there is sentimental value, if it doesn’t make me happy or get used regularly, then it’s out of my house!)
3. Catalogs - now I don’t have to waste my time reading them and wishing for things I don’t need or can’t afford. And I’m with you on magazines….as soon as my current subscriptions run out, they will NOT be renewed! Reading them has become a burden instead of a source of enjoyment.
July 12th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
1. Big purses!!! Nothing worse to weigh you down when your out and about.
2. Uncomfortable shoes
3. Dress Suits
I am living the simple life based off the premise of Elaine St James books and it has made my world so much better!
July 12th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
1. Bottled water; I use tap water with a stainless steel bottle.
2. Paying full price for a book. I always go the library first now.
3. Expensive lawn treatments.
PS Thanks for stopping by my blog and sharing some kind and encouraging words.
July 12th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
It can be hard to give things up sometimes. I find myself trying and being pulled back in either because my friends still have the same behaviors or because I haven’t changed enough of my lifestyle to be able to give something up permanently.
I have been able to rid myself of a few of the less-important “requirements” of my daily life, though:
1. Bottled water - My refrigerator has a built-in water filter that fits over my Nalgene perfectly … who knew?
2. “Cheap” clothing - I’ve spent too much money buying a pair of pants or a shirt that wears out in a month. Now I invest in something a little more durable and take the time to fix minor tears and such as I go along.
3. The snooze button - If I set my alarm, there was a reason. If, for some other reason, I don’t actually want to get up at 5am, I’ll just lie there until I’m so bored with the morning talk show that I HAVE to get up!
It’s not much, but these are ways I have started cutting the waste out of my life. One step at a time and I find myself stronger and more able to give up other unnecessary things, too.
July 12th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
@Rachel: I shudder to think of what I’d have to cut out of my diet if I tried to eliminate high fructose corn syrup. I think you can count a 90 percent reduction as a pretty big success!
@Jill: Wow! You’re even more cutthroat than me when it comes to sentimental stuff! If you’ve got any good tips on how to do this, I’d love to know.
@Christa: I got a small purse as a gift awhile back. It was really nice so I started using it all the time and what do you know? I never missed all the extra junk I’d been carrying around! Sounds like you’ve got a slick and streamlined style.
@Blogversary: I’m totally intrigued by how cool stainless steel bottles look! And I can’t imagine paying full price for a book anymore. Your welcome for the words. Anytime.
@Eric: Oooh, the snooze button is my nemesis! And the funny thing is that I never used it for the first 23 years of my life. You rule for defeating this addictive habit! I like the idea that you’re getting stronger with each thing you give up instead of weaker.
July 13th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Sara,
It was life changing to let go…but I did it because I was doing everything to prepare for tomorrow- not taking care of today. Sometimes your change of focus can change your life.
July 13th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Great question. It frees up so much energy for good things when we let go of not-good things.
1.) Television
2.) Friends I can’t respect
3.) I’m looking for the next good thing to let go of
Alison in Portland, Oregon
http://www.diamondcutlife.org/
July 13th, 2008 at 10:04 am
1) TV :: haven’t owned one for a year and a half now and have not missed it one bit.
2) Eating out :: less expensive and lots more healthy to eat at home; giving up restaurants is one of my routes to weight loss simplicity.
3) Being a night owl (even though I am one by nature) :: having enough sleep each night makes EVERYTHING in my ENTIRE life so much better that I can’t believe I didn’t give this up sooner.
July 13th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
@Katie: As an over-preparer, that’s a refreshing way to look at things!
@Alison: I’m so with you that it’s not so much about giving up stuff as making room for the good stuff you already have (or that may be coming your way).
@Dana: I’m so glad to hear that giving up on your night owlness has been good for you. I’m slowly working towards that one, too!
July 13th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Old girlfriends.
Alcohol.
Ice cream every night at 9PM.
This list could be a lot longer!
July 13th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Hi Sara,
Just sent you an email but I want to contribute on the site.
I want to add my three things that I’ve given up but don’t regret:
1. Trying to learn another language (mainly Japanese)
* Even though I know the value of another language (I already speak Spanish fluently as well), I just can’t seem to learn it. Its better at this point to accept that I just can’t and spend my time learning something les
2. My addiction to be single
* There was a time that when I thought being single at my age was the right thing to do. I felt that any relationships that I started right now would lead to a break up for sure. However, my girlfriend is absolutely the best person I have ever met (I guess you can tell that since I said “my girlfriend”, I have gladly given up the single life)
3. Getting super buff
* I thought that girls all love buff guys and I needed to get huge. I was very self conscious about my skinny body and hated going to the pool or beach. I’ve let go of the gym obsession because I am finally comfortable with myself and who I am.
- Jun
July 13th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
I’ve given up a lot more than three, but here are those that leap to mind.
1. cigarettes - a bit late in ditching them, as I developed Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia because of years of sucking back hard on the gasper, 40 times a day. Interestingly in relation to this site, the first word that went through my mind when the doctor gave me the diagnosis, and which repeated in my life for many months afterwards, was … SIMPLIFY!
2. personal vanity around shaving my legs et al - I am a mammal, after all, and the hair is there for a good reason (I can hear you all say ‘Ewwwww’, but it’s true!)
3. worrying too much about what other people think (although I sometimes go too far with this and speak my mind with complete candour, especially at work, where silence would be the better choice). I need to learn better the difference between not caring too much about others’ opinions and freely offering mine when it’s not been solicited.
July 13th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I have enjoyed reading this!!!
Three things I have given up that make my life more simple:
1) FEAR of STORMS (I now cling to psalms 91 instead)
2) DEBT!!!! Life is so much simpler without being in debt bondage!
3) Anorexia!!! I am not my weight…it is just a number!!!
July 13th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
What I’ve given up:
1. Living in the city.
2. Bread (and all gluten).
3. Keeping my mouth shut. I now blog my brain to my heart’s content!
July 13th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
@Ron: Alcohol and ice cream? You’re a minimalist madman!
@Jun: Sounds like you’re really learning to just accept yourself and let go of others’ expectations. I love it!
@Nicola: You just brought a much deeper meaning to this conversation–thank you! And if you don’t want to shave, then I don’t think it’s anybody’s concern but your own.
@Heather: It sounds like you’re on a roll with giving up things that hold you back. Awesome and inspiring!
@Squawkfox: Giving up gluten is incredibly hard (from what I’ve heard). Way harder than me giving up nail polish.
And I love your #3: Keeping my mouth shut. The blogosphere is definitely better off for having your brazen viewpoint!
July 13th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
1. TV
2. Triathlons
3. God
July 14th, 2008 at 6:10 am
I love this post, so close to my heart!
Choosing 3 was quite challenging as we have changed quite a bit in recent years but here we go:
1. Debt
2. Caring what others think
3. Being a slave to material possessions
July 14th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Hmmm…
1. Trying to please other people rather than myself
2. Computer games
3. Ice cream. (No, really!)
July 14th, 2008 at 10:47 am
I sold (gave up) a growing website and forum. The people were getting on my nerves and I don’t regret it one bit although it could have been quite lucrative. I need peace, not money.
I gave up credit cards. Don’t need them. Don’t regret it.
I gave up trying to do everything. I delegate as much as I can now.
July 14th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I am with some of the others. I have given up some things for so long I forget they even exist so I forget that I can even miss them
1. all debt
2. trying to please everyone
3. cable tv
July 18th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Hi Sara,
I thought your third point about your husband was touching. Things really change in a relationship when you truly accept the other person, and know you’re not ever again going to make giving up an option. If they want to change and keep growing, that change has to come from within them, not because someone else wants it.
My three things are:
1)Worrying about what other people think of me
2)Saying yes when I don’t want to
3)Eating out when I’m stressed
Sincerely,
Amanda
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:59 am
Here are the things I’ve given up and never regretted;
1) Living in a small town filled with racist bigots who controlled everything.
2) Free tech support to everyone except close family
3) Dealing with engineering managers who have art degrees
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:44 pm
@Vern: I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of my TV, but I did let go of watching shows obsessively, and that’s something I’ve never missed. Especially soaps. Oh, the time I’ve wasted!
@Ms Penny Pincher: I love your three! It sounds like we’ve made a lot of the same steps in the last few years.
@Deb: Ice cream? You are a strong woman!
@Natural: It sounds like you’re the perfect example of giving up stuff and commitments and getting back a bit of your life. Love it!
@Emily: That’s the most liberating part–remembering that you forgot to even remember. (Did that make sense?)
@Value for Your Life: Ooh, saying yes to everything–that’s a great one! And yep, I figure that if I want to be accepted with all my flaws, I’d better be pretty accepting myself. So far, it’s working well for both of us.
@jrandom42: I’ve got a friend who gets sucked into being free tech support. It’s enough to make you crazy–good for you for drawing the line. (And for finding a place where you can be you, without other people trying to put limits on what you can do.)
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:51 am
1. smoking
2. soda
3. shopping as recreation.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:35 am
1. I gave up nail polish too! That’s some toxic stuff.
2. Cable/Satellite t.v.
3. Sugar and that fake powder creamer stuff in my coffee. I’ve gone black and won’t be going back.
July 26th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
1. TV
2. Doubt about plans I make
3. Keeping read books for myself
July 27th, 2008 at 1:01 am
NeimanMarxist: Giving up shopping as recreation is one of the single best things I’ve ever done. We’ve definitely got that one in common.
Jen: Your black coffee comment cracked me up!
Holger: Giving up doubt; what a great one!
August 27th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Hi,
These are my three things which I left for good. And I am proud for myself that I did those.
1. Smoking
2. The pre-approved offers
3. Spending everything through Credit Cards
Smoking: I have left it many times in my life and get back to it again after 5-6-11-30 days but this time when I left it I have not gone back and it has been 6-7 months. I don’t remember if I used to smoke or not.
The pre-approved offers: I stopped it in anger as my Amex card offer got declined. First of all why did they sent me a pre-approved offer if they were going to reject it. It got me furious and I stopped any pre-approved offers
Credit cards: well this one is because I had poor financial management, and after taking a new car it got worse so, trying to cut down my expenses and trying to spend everything through debit card or cash.
Thanks,
Ajay
August 28th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Ajay: Good for you! Sounds like you’re giving up things that are pretty addictive. I know that being angry can certainly help fuel the desire to break a habit, so maybe it’s a good thing that Amex ticked you off…
August 29th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Hi Sara,
I didn’t believed in Will-Power stuff but now I do. If you have Will power you can do what you want, though its still weak in me but trying to build it eventually.
Amex, I know, and I am happy I called Amex and they declined which showed me a way to think, “why I am playing with my credit history/score.”
btw, I left smoking in anger too.
So, it seems I need to get angry on the addiction to break it.
Now its turn for the drinks, naah i love to drink, but for fun.
Ajay
August 29th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Ajay: It’s like you’ve figured out a backdoor to kickstart the willpower. If you ever do want to make a break with drinks (certainly not something I’ll be doing anytime soon), you’ll just have to find a way to get really mad at liquor!
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:45 am
Sara,
I am a fun-loving person, smiles at everything and my friends can attest to this. I don’t like to get angry. Its just some things are uncontrollable. And when they become like that, a person like me(who seldomly gets upset) reacts.
In this long weekend for example, I enjoyed a lot in Boston, drinking n all, no madness, no angerness. I am normal again. I am sure I dont have to take anger management classes.
Thanks,
Ajay
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Ajay: I wish more people could handle things with such balance. Hope Boston was fun and that you had a great long weekend!
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:14 pm
I hope this balance continues, yep Boston is always fun