Persistence: A Reasonable Stand-in for Perfectionism
photo credit: greencandy8888
Perfectionism is like an unreliable friend. Sometimes this friend gets us in with the right crowd to all the right places. At other times, perfectionism makes us feel lonely and tired, like we’re not good enough. Some people even have abusive relationships with perfectionism. When too much time spent with this demanding friend has you feeling crazy, turn to a different pal: persistence.
Perfectionism is almost impossible maintain. It takes a ton of time and energy to even attempt to be perfect. And if you’re anything like me, even the most sincere attempts to be perfect ending up falling quite short of that mark. This means that you have two options when you shoot for a perfect 10: complete success or total failure. There’s no room for gray, which is where most of life actually exists.
Take blogging as an example. Some posts might actually be perfect. Others are bound to have the occasional typo. Others are simply not as well received as you might have hoped or planned. If you only count perfection as a success, then most of your efforts are doomed to failure. Does that mean that you should never try?
Defining Success in Shades of Gray
I’d answer that with an affirmative “no.” Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on persistence. Persistence is about continuing to try your best even when perfection is not an option. It means letting go of trying to live up to external standards and embracing your own. Persistence is where real growth and learning occurs.
I would also argue that persistence is one of the key ways you earn respect. After all, even absolute perfection can be a fluke accident, but persistence takes guts, patience, and a willingness to learn. The next time you’re troubled by your lack of perfection, look deeper inside and realize that there’s a stronger force you can call to your aid: the quiet power of persistence.
This post has 14 comments
June 12th, 2008
I love this! I am far from perfect but definitely persistent. You are right, it’s more respectable to see someone trying hard than trying to appear perfect. As for blogging, I don’t think any blogger is perfect. We all have off days, days we just don’t feel inspired, days that are sillier than others, days that are more informative than others, etc…sticking with it and keeping it fun and keeping it true to who we are as individuals is what I’d like to think helps gain readership. Even my most favorite blogs don’t always write about things I am interested in or find fascinating. It’s what the blog and blogger are on a whole that keep me coming back for more.
June 12th, 2008
I guess persistence is about the process, wheras perfectionism is about the destination. Like saying: “I’m going to be there everyday doing the best that I can”. What a great distinction Sara!
June 12th, 2008
Persistence is key to any type of success. Being perfect is a lofty goal that many aspire too and no one reaches. But be persistent and trying hard everyday and what ever it is you do, that is how you reach goals
June 12th, 2008
I guess I set really low standards for myself, that way I don’t have to worry too much about disappointment or trying to be perfect. As for blogging, if I get 1 comment, that’s a success for me. Regarding life, I already know I’m imperfect, so why shoot for something I will not obtain. IMHO perfection has less to do with getting something just right as it does with missing the mark of a standard..then the question is who’s standards? If the standard is another imperfect human, then there is no perfection to live up to. Does this make sense?
Being perfect is a hinderance. It immobilizes people because of fear.
June 12th, 2008
What a great message Sara! I think that persistence is key. If you keep at something you will surely improve. Besides no one is perfect. And we don’t have to aim to be perfect. I think the whole idea just stresses people out. Excellent post!
June 12th, 2008
This is really impressive! I experienced times when I was considering perfectionism as the only way to success, that was really hard to go on with as we will pass through ups and downs in our life. When I started blogging, it took me some time to realize that it’s all about being patient and persistent inorder to succeed. I learned how to feel satisfied and happy with whatever success I achieve, I started to feel the grey area, it’s much better than seeing your result as black or white.
Few days ago, I told a friend that I started to feel that there is a pleasure other than that of success, it’s the pleasure of persistence, working hard and enjoying even your 0.0001% of success till you reach the maximum or not, it doesn’t matter, we will never be perfect, however, we still can learn, keep trying and feel the power and joy of being persistent.
June 12th, 2008
Hi Sara,
I like perfection’s friend persistence.
I used to think everything in my life should be perfect. The truth is, no one noticed. Like you said, too much time is wasted in striving for perfection. When we do our best, and enjoy the process/journey, we realize persistence is what actually pays off.
June 12th, 2008
Hi Sara,
Yup, too much time and energy is wasted in the search for perfection. Perhaps another way to look at it is the search for completion, meaning that the project is fulfilled, as it needs to be, for the time being.
Harmony,
Janet
June 12th, 2008
Thanks to everyone for contributing with your comments! It’s inspiring to know that there are so many folks committed to the simple pleasures of the long haul.
Like Barbara pointed out, half the time no one’s paying attention to our perfection (or lack thereof) anyway.
I’d also recommend checking out The Immersion Attitude at Pun Intended.
June 12th, 2008
I read the post you suggested at Pun Intended, Sara. It’s very true, an all or nothing approach is often self-defeating, the immersion approach is much better.
June 13th, 2008
I’ve spoken to a few notable writers and read interviews / biographies of a few others, and the same philosophy comes up again and again: writing isn’t about being a genius, it’s just a game of Last Man Standing. Endurance, eventually, becomes success.
Same with much of life. Not all of it, but much of it.
And that’s heartening, because there’s always people who can do things better than we can. There’s a nice story about a famous writer, I forget who, who told a room full of students that for each one of them, there was 100 writers within 10 miles who were better writers than they were….but it was these students who would be successful, because *they* would actually sit down and write, and keep writing, not like those other guys out there.
You just have to remember to jump in, both feet.
June 13th, 2008
Sara,
What a gorgeous picture and a brilliant post to match!
I am very much a perfectionist, so learning persistence rather than perfection is an ongoing journey for me.
I also find it helpful to have a direction for my persistence. Persistence in too many things just leaves me drained and wanting to give up everything.
Thank you for provoking my thoughts.
June 13th, 2008
I just recently posted about “all or nothing” thinking, and how ineffective and paralyzing it can be.
Flylady says “progress not perfection” and I love that idea. I’m living it too: I’m chipping away at my clutter in short bursts of time (sometimes just 5 minutes at a time). No, it won’t all get done in one session, but I am seeing progress. Much better than doing nothing, paralyzed by perfectionism and “all or nothing” thinking.
June 13th, 2008
Excellent post. I’ve often said strive for excellence, as perfection is impossible. Same thang.
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