Letting Yourself Go on ‘What Not to Wear’

“What Not to Wear,” a TLC show dedicated to saving fashion victims from themselves, is a modern miracle. For a show that’s all about spending money, it rests on a philosophical base that’s not very far off from what simplicity groupies believe.

Wait for It, Wait for It…

The shows highlights one new (usually) woman each week who is nominated by her loved ones for her horrific wardrobe. Then our hosts, Stacy and Clinton, ambush the victim on camera and offer a $5,000 New York shopping spree in exchange for giving themselves up, “mind, body, and wardrobe.” The victim is then subjected to a range of torture methods, most of which end in being mocked by family, friends, and our genial hosts. Sounds awful, right?

Here’s the amazing thing. Each week, you see a person go from being insecure and image-conscious to confident and excited about life in a period of about three days. How do they do it? What Not to Wear does the same thing I would do: they force people to get rid of the crap in their lives.

Lessons in Simplicity from What Not to Wear

I’m not going to pretend that What Not to Wear is some kind quasi-Zen guide to life. It’s not. But the show’s intention is more admirable than you might think. Their ultimate goal each week is to make a woman’s life better by teaching her to be comfortable with herself. While designer clothes might not be the most ideal tool to do this, it works. Here’s what you can take from the show and apply to your own life:

Your personality does not rest in your clothes. There’s a part in the show where Stacy and Clinton go through the woman’s wardrobe and throw out the items that don’t flatter her. Usually, this leaves 98 percent of items in the trash can. The women freak out, cry, swear, and pick fights over the disputed items (including polyester ponchos and glitter boots). The most common battle cry is, “These clothes are who I am!” and, “But this piece shows off my fun/unique/quirky personality!” Their appeals fall on deaf ears and the offensive items are given away. And you know what? The women still manage to retain their personalities! It’s a miracle! Because the hosts know something these women don’t: personality has nothing to do with what you wear. Your personality lies in the way you carry yourself, live your life, and interact with others. The clothes are nothing but a crutch–a crutch that actually prevents a lot of people from noticing these women’s true personalities because they’re too distracted by exposed bellies and/or psychedelic colors.

To make room in your life for something new, you have to get rid of something old. The only way these women are able to move forward is because they’ve cleaned out the old remnants of their lives and dreams. Not only is there not physical space for two wardrobes, there’s not room in your mind. Trying to balance two versions of your dreams, your friends, and yourself is a recipe for disaster. Letting go of the old visions you have, along with most of the physical reminders (from old movie tickets to beat-up sweatshirts) gives you room to create new ideas and habits. You don’t have to let go of the memories or the lessons learned, just the life-stopping, deadening weight of the past.

Feeling good about yourself benefits everyone. Most women chosen for the show seem like genuinely good people. They have friends who adore them, bosses who value their work, and families that love them. They give all their energy to make these people happy, and leave very little for themselves. In fact, they seem to think that any attention or money they spend on themselves is wrong. But once these women are forced to treat themselves and let people take care of them, it’s fascinating to watch them blossom. When they’re reunited with their friends and family, the comments go something like this: “She’s just glowing,” “I love seeing her this happy,” and, “She’s so much more confident and in control.” The people who love you don’t want you to sacrifice everything for them. They want you to be happy and excited about life. Treating yourself now and then and taking time for yourself doesn’t have to be selfish. Sometimes it’s the best way to make sure your loved ones get to spend time with the best “you” possible.

It’s not what you buy that makes you happy, it’s what you let go of. As adorable as the women of What Not to Wear look in their new outfits, I don’t think it’s the clothes that really make them happy. My theory is that it’s the freedom they feel that makes them seem so light and carefree. They’ve been relieved of the burden of being who they think they have to be, something that was reinforced every day when they put on clothes that symbolized years of bad habits and low self-image. The feeling is almost tangible; they’ve realized that no matter how old they are or where they are in life, they have endless possibilities in front of them. If you want to feel better, you probably don’t need a $5,000 Visa debit card. You may just need to let go of the “stuff” that’s holding you back.